I've found a friend who died for me

I need more of You!!

Finding myself losing self control more and more. Especially when it comes to dealing with people that I dislike. Not that I hate them, but their actions make me slightly irritated at times. It doesn't help much when I'm related to them.

Though not everyone is sensitive to their surroundings, but everyone MUST learn to be! I'm not someone whom you can make fun of, tease about or joke of. I don't wear a red wig and nose with huge matching shoes. There's always a limit to something.

Whats worst is having this mentality. They can do it to me, but if I do something else, I'll get that, "How can you do that!?" remark. ARGH!!

So what are you trying to tell me? You're better than me? I don't have to prove to you that I'm better or whatever, but your antics are seriously irritating me! Its like telling me that I've a speck in my eye, but you've a log in yours.

Definitely, there's a lot for me to learn as well. I can learn to be much more long suffering, to learn how to love those that's slightly difficult to love. Maybe this is what God wants me to learn. So give me more strength Lord!! before I blow up and rebuke them.

Seriously resisting the temptation to scold them because they're just having fun and probably got overboard. Thats why they must all learn to be sensitive!! Can't expect you to keep smiling at me if I were to keep poking you right!?

So what did I do? Just smiled and kept quiet. SIGH. The meek ones are the strongest. I'm probably far from being strong, but I know that at least I made a right decision earlier and I'm slightly stronger now.

The journey continues and I really hope things will improve, though knowing that this is not the way God works. He sharpens me, with another iron.

>.<

I think I need to change.

Ok. Not I think, i MUST change!

Pastor Ulf taught about fears today for service. Something that's always being mentioned and reminded by many people. But its only today, I finally received something in my spirit, or simply mind.

Consider this for a moment. It would be difficult for you to talk to someone if he frequently shy away from you, or seems just afraid to talk to you. I realized that I've been doing that all these while and its certainly unhealthy.

I should learn to be more confident of myself, carry myself well and learn to speak with confidence. This will not just make me confident of myself, it dispels fears in my life.

I must stop being fearful of speaking up or being outstanding. Fearful of being the odd one out. But of cos, I do not want to appear boastful or prideful. Confidence is something that I carry in my spirit.

Even when situations screams in my face, I've the confidence and composure to make the right decision. I will not allow fear to take place in my decision makings and spoil God's destiny for me.

Its not self denial, thinking that you can handle situations that come your way. But it should come from the assurance that God is always with me and the Holy Spirit is always guiding me.

So when I serve Pastors every week, I should get more comfortable serving them. Things shouldn't remain the same from day 1. There must be growth!! Every week I serve them, there must be growth!!

If not, I'm just a person that walks them up and down every week.

Not that I become friendly with pastors, but I should become more confident whenever I speak to them. I shouldn't be mumbling my replies or look lost whenever I'm expected of something. I shouldn't come to a stage when I just get so tensed up whenever there are important guests.

Embrace the moment and serve with all of my ability!

Time to step out of my comfort zone and stretch my capacity again! Without fear, but faith! Knowing that through all these adversities, God will strengthen me and guide me in His ways!

Kids.

They're so adorable when they're having fun. Smiles on their faces or that gint in their eyes when they're up to something mysterious.

When you tell them something believable, they might just believe you whole heartedly. Probably thats why Jesus once said its easier for a child to enter the kingdom of God.

They simply just believe!

Kids don't even know what's pain when they're enjoying themselves. They can fall countless of times while ice skating, but because its fun and something new, they'll pick themselves up and carry on skating.

Or if they're about to fall, they'll automatically grab onto something. They'll not move unless being led by someone and if they are left alone at a place, they'll move to a place where they feel safe.

If only most Christians were like this too!

Always having that child-like faith in us, we're always hungry for more of God and His word. We absorb whatever the bible says and believes it whole heartedly. Even though we may stumble in our walk with God, we'll pick ourselves up and laugh about it. Then carry on with life loving God even more than before.

I was with my nephews and nieces ice skating at kallang and noticed all these things. Though it might be just a once in a blue moon experience, I guess its more than enough for God wanting to tell me something.

Basically kids really don't have any worries. Who cares about food? Because their parents are gonna pay for their food everyday. Who cares about clothes? Because their parents buy them new clothes.

All kids know and do is to enjoy themselves as much as possible. No matter what it is, it can be very enjoyable for them. From ice skating to dunking a piece of popcorn chicken into pepsi is fun, and they can do it with such great passion!

I'm definitely not asking you not to work and wait for money to drop from heaven. But I guess its the assurance that God will provide because you're His child and being a good Father, He'll definitely give you whatever you want and ask for.

But if you're a spoilt and bad kiddie, would God still pamper you? Probably not as much right? same goes for those spoilt and bad kids that we usually experience once in a while. Didn't you just wish that he/she would just disappear from your sight and stop irritating you? Parents, wouldn't you feel that your child is just a disaster and out of control?

But at the end of the day, your child will still look extremely angelic when he/she falls asleep.

Same goes for our Heavenly Father! Well, I don't think he feel irritated whenever He sees us misbehaving, but I'm quite sure that at the end of the day, God would tell Satan that we're His beloved children and Satan has no dominion over us.

But that doesn't mean that we can remain childish and immatured all our lives. It's cute for a 5 year old girl to give bambi eyes over sweets, but disgusting for a 30 years old lady to do so.

If God has enpowered us with something, He expects us to use it! If not, why would He even give these gifts and talents to us?

As kids, they'll probably not understand what's their gifts and talents. But as grown ups, you should know what're your gifts and talents and you should start learning how to maximize your potential within!

If you do not know, means you're still living in a nut-shell. So its time for you to emerge and breakthrough! Break out of your nut shells and find out about your gifts and talents! It's about time now!