happy birthday to me!

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CHANGE! Pastor Tan shared about change and how we should embrace change. I'm watching Channel News Asia and some CEO of some mega company is saying that to way to success is to anticipate change, and change immediately when chances occur.

how should we embrace change then?

i guess its really being selfless. not thinking about yourself, thinking that its always someone's else fault or that somebody else should change. why not, you do the changing and maybe the world would be a better place?

and it increases your value too!

i was thinking of several points after service yesterday and decided to CHANGE on these points

• to control my emotions, not to be emotionally dead. (Pastor Yong actually asked me this question and told me not to be emotionally closed up. How did he know? i've no idea.)
• To be a good steward of God's money
• To stop procastinating and start going for my driver's licence
• To finish reading the bible!!!

change change change change change!

my progress with speaking proper english has been quite successful. though my smses are getting slightly longer than usual, or just extremely short, i'm glad that i'm not exactly speaking much singlish. thats a good change! ;)

SOT registration is open, but i've no idea if i'm able to enroll this year because my National Service ends only on May 5, and SOT starts on Apr. BUT, for the bulk of Apr, i'll be overseas, either Taiwan or Brunei for my training. so i've no idea if i'm still able to enroll as i'll miss one whole month of lessons.

somebody enlighten me!?

we had our company cohesion earlier today. we played this game similar to the amazing race, minus the road blocks and fast forwards.

basically, we're given 4 sheets of paper, different points on each set of paper and the difficulty of the questions are based on the points awarded. hints were given to us and we've to guess the location, take a picture of the location with all the team members in it.

found myself finding out more about singapore, its landmarks and history. i thought that it was really interesting and meaningful.

i've been trying to speak and reply my smses in proper english. trying to cut down on the singlish too. i think my standard of english has dropped, thus i shall now attempt to restore it. help me out! if you hear me speaking in singlish, or using broken english, correct me so that i can change and learn from it!

;)

God is so very good to me.

so many small little things that happened, but it made a huge difference in that moment.

i had a friend driving me to camp, and back home for 2 days (save transport fares)

i had a trooper driving me back to KHC because i had work to do (save transport fares)

i had free supper that cost 100+ total at geylang

i had a ride down to church, JW premises, on sunday morning by sharon wan

i had a ride to jurong point by kaikeong

i had my "boss" treating me a meal today

i had my hair cut and its good

and loads more. God is good eh? but of cos, i sowed before reaping all these blessings! if i can total up the blessings, it has already out weighed the amount i've sowed into the house of God.

indeed! when i build God's house, He'll build mine too!

all i want for christmas is...

1. iPod
2. Jacket (Polo)
3. Shoes (Leather and Casual)
4. PSP
5. More Shirts and Jeans

make my wishes come true!!

feel so caged up. like a bird thats stuck in a cage, thinking that its free, but in reality, its stuck in its cage.

need a breakthru in the spiritual realm. there's definitely more than what there is now. i'm very sure and i'm really yearning for a breakthrough.

not sure if these are the solutions to the breakthrough, but i'm sure that they'll definitely contribute to the breakthrough.

i must really learn to love people whole heartedly, especially lost souls. thats like the heartbeat of God and thats what Jesus did most of the time. loving people whole heartedly, getting to know them personally, then changing their lives completely.

i must also stop thinking of the great things. maybe i should just look at short term goals and work towards them first. no point planning for great and wonderful stuffs when i can't even plan for small and insignificant stuffs.

i must not adopt that i-know-it attitude. must be open and receive from others, even though they maybe younger than i am or inexperienced.

i must not be quick to judge/conclude.

i must not be like a christian that has been around for 10-20 years, but a christian that seems that everything is still new and fresh.

haiz.

i wanna be alone, by myself, and see the face of God.

something interesting happened just now.

i was at the bus stop waiting for my bus when it started raining cats and dogs. then 2 wild dogs ran to the bus stop to seek shelter. uber cute black dogs

then after a while, the dogs started barking like crazy. i turned around and saw a wild boar approaching the bus stop too. i thought the wild boar wanted to seek shelter in the bus stop too, but it turned out that the wild boar was targetting the dog's food! heh.

so the poor dogs were barking endlessly at the wild boar, but the boar simply ignored them, and continued eating their food.

i tried to scare the boar by stomping my feet, but it ignored me also. heh. maybe i should have thrown the abandoned umbrella at the boar.

but thats not the interesting part. the interesting part came when the boar finally finished the food. it started to trot away when 1 brave doggie decided to chase after it. it started running towards the boar, barking endlessly. but when the boar turned around and gave the doggie some attention, the doggie would turn around and run away from the boar.

so much for being so "garang".

even the aunties at the bus stop were laughing at the doggie that attempted to scare off the boar, saying that the boar's so huge, it can probably kill it if it wanted to.

but then, the doggies are so poor thing. cold and hungry, they still have to endure such abuse from the boar. sigh~

hope the doggies are doing fine and hope that they're not freezing now in the cold.

been quite sometime since i last blogged. not a lot of happenings, but loads of dramatic incidents.

shall not disclose the incidents as they're secret happenings.

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weekend services with pastor phil! he painted the last supper, while preaching about the 12 disciples. i was really blessed by the "sermon"; if you count describing the 12 disciples a sermon. ;)

anyway, pastor phil shared about the 12 disciples, their characteristics and history. there were disciples that i never heard of and the bible didnt accounts for. they were normal people, but yet they were in close fellowship with God.

why?

because they had a heart after Christ. they all had different backgrounds, non of them were perfect disciples. each had their weaknesses, flaws and struggles. yet Christ accepted them and made them His disciples.

amazing eh?

of cos Christ didn't just stop there. He discipled them, taught them and most importantly enpowered them to do even greater things for the kingdom of God.

there's a disciple for everyone.

interesting day today~

served, as usual, and today was quite busy. first pastor yong came, before i left the room, pastor kong came. walked out to the carpark, then pastor tan came. after escorting him to the guest room, pastor derek came.

i think i walked up and down the way 3 times in a row. haha

but its really my honor to serve such great man of God and i really feel blessed. thank God for His grace upon my life.

before i was about to leave for cellgroup, bro kokyew and i had a chat. he's one of my favourite security leaders because he's super friendly and approachable. always armed with a smile in his face and always looking very fatherly.

he asked about my future plans and he started to ramble out some stuffs. to my surprise, it was exactly the plans that i had in mind. haha! SOT, CGL, ZS and eventually Pastoral.

then he said he just prophesied over my life and it was a confirmation of God's vision in my life. really felt extremely encouraged when he said that.

but of cos, things wont happen overnight.

cellgroup meeting was fantastic! presence of God just filled the entire place and everyone was weeping in His presence. Jason prayed for everyone and boy it was powerful.

on such occasions, you just want to keep worshipping Him, sing love songs to Him continually.

i think everyday, i've to remind myself of this - WWJD. What Would Jesus Do? in everday's situation and difficulties, what would Jesus do if He faces such challenges.

its impossible to overcome such problems and difficulties myself, but becomes easily when i rely on God. i learnt today during service that spiritual warfare is literaly war. i don't juz "recite" the promises of God to myself.

but i claim His promises and pray through it until victory. war also means aggresiveness, decisive decisions and swift actions.

got to make the right decisions in the shortest possible time and keep fighting until breakthrough comes!

Arise & Build!!

Pastor shared about having a vision and remembering it, not letting the terror of the night drain away my faith.

what really amazed me was that pastor mentioned that financial blessings are the easiest blessings to receive! simply because of the promise of reaping what we sowed.

think of it this way - every dollar is a seed. the moment you plant a seed, it grows. same goes to our finances! we sow our finances into the kingdom of God, expect it to multiply.

woah!!

another thing that pastor shared that blew away my mind.

our visions can be sidelined we lose sight of it. i've to continually remind myself of the vision God has placed in my heart and keep envisioning it happening; definitely work towards it also. if not, i'll get sidelined and miss out on the vision that God has placed in me! - this statement confirmed what i've been hearing from the Holy Spirit. that if i do not pick up my cross, the vision will go to someone else who's willing to carry the cross.

REMEMBER JOEL! PICK UP YOUR CROSS!!

most importantly, i learnt that in order to receive something, i've to give that thing that i need. eg: i need a healing, so i pray for people who are in need for healing.

another principal of sowing and reaping!

these are like, basics, which i know by knowledge. but after today's sermon, it became more of a revelation!

and because of this sowing and reaping principal, whatever that God did once, He can do it repeatingly!

so. who needs financial help? haha=X

wow.

what are the things you would spend your last few dollars on?

• $2 mixed flavors ice cream
• $0.50 Jack&Jill Spicy Potato Chips
• $0.60 The New Paper
• $1.20 M&M Minis
• $1.20 Hersheys Special Dark Chocolate
• $1.20 Milo Canned Drink
• $1.70 Iced Honey Dew Sago + Pearls

Cruxify my flesh!!!

near future seems bleak; not sure if i can pursue my desires of studying in SOT this year because i'll only ORD on May 5. SOT starts classes on April.

did consider the plan to take half day leave during the start of my course, but i found out that i'll be given only 7 days worth of leave. best of all, due to the block leave, my leave will be deducted. thus leaving probably less than 3 days?

struggles.

other concerns affecting my decision too. finances, how am i going to pay for the school fees? work, definitely have to work, but a job thats ultra flexible?

really want to enroll into SOT this year, but why does it seem like a dream so far away?

something in me feels fearful to lose out in the coming year's SOT. the coming year's SOT feels special; somehow, i feel like a part of the coming year's SOT intake.

Lord, grant me the desires of my heart.

recently a friend of mine shared about his plan for studies after the army. he extended his contract for about a year so that he's able to save money to study overseas.

tempations.

is it wise for me to extend till next 2009's april, so that i can save money for 2009's SOT?

thing about saving money is that i really have to be extremely disciplined.

headache.

Lord You called me, i'll take the step of faith, and walk on water.

only You know the desires of my heart.

randomness.

Do feel a little caged up at times. limitations, expections.

can't i just live life the way i want?

bah.

Recently completed a course in the army and was doing self reflection during my "survival" training.

Maybe i've protrayed myself as someone too soft and easily stepped over. I looked at my guys and watched how they talked and reacted towards me.

Seems that they were talking to their friend more than their commander.

Yes, i know that its important to build friendship and not draw the line between officers and specialists, but its also very important for them to respect the command given to me. So i can't have them walking up to me, trying to bend the rules here and there just to fit into their comfort zone.

I've got to be more strict with them, especially with my commanders. Army's not about staying in your comfort zone, but stretching your limits, learning more about yourself.

Maybe i should set higher standards and demand more from them, and learn not to be so easily taken in by others.

back home!

service was fantastic.

pastor kong's back and he shared about tithing. something very basic, but extremely important in our walk with God.

now i feel empowered, recharged. but not yet ready to take on the world. =X

down with a minor injury. in-grown toe nail.

seems minor, but it causes serious pain if not treated. i decided not to go ahead with the surgery in camp as it would result me to get out-of-course in my recce commander course. so i told the MO that i'll probably just grit through the pain and only after my course, i'll seek surgery.

after serving today in leather shoes, i removed my socks earlier and found half my toe covered in blood and pus. not mentioning the constant pain with every step that i took.

but i guess i just got to grit through the pain and pray that my toe recovers soon.

one more entry before i book-in into camp.

God is just so amazing. sometimes when you feel that you're left on the shelf, God surprises you with the things He has been doing all the time.

i've been quite blessed as my parents allow me to go church, despite different beliefs. though they dont really ask me what church or God is about, they have never questioned, challenged or gave me an extremely difficult time.

recently, certain issues happened at home and it caused my mom to open up more to Christ. though they were not very pleasant issues, i was glad that my mom was willing to listen to my advise and my sister.

sometimes when others are really weak or helpless, that is when you're able to demostrate the power of God.

but of cos there are incidents that i wished didnt happen at all. but what i'm glad is that my family members are protected.

knowing that God is such a wonderful God, it makes me even much more burdened. it makes me feel like going around, sharing the good news of God, so that they can experience the same kind of love that i experience.

sometimes i don't even know why i feel so disturbed. felt that i should do something, rather than wasting my life away. but i've also learnt that thats one of the many ways the Holy Spirit communicates to us. He attracts our attention to seek His face, to pray and to "find" out whats bothering me.

many times, i feel that i not worthy. things that i've done probably have not just disappointed God, but my loved ones. but time and time again, i find myself surrounded by His presence, His peace, when i pray.

problems became easier to solve, angry emotions begin to calm down and understanding creeps into my heart. feels terrible when you begin to understand what had just happened and you've caused another person to feel hurt.

maybe sometimes its about loving somebody regardless of self. loving someone not because of what i can receive, but because of what i can give.

if i can give God my precious time, He's able to give me more than just His presence, love and peace. if i've to make a decison between God and something that i really like, would a short term pleasure be more satisfying or something thats not seen in the realm of the spirit satisfy me even more?

making a difference in the lives of others is not something nobel. but it demands sacrifice, patience and love. its not just an one day affair or an one incident thing. its a daily renewing of commitment to help that person, to watch them grow stronger in Christ.

sometimes its not just about bringing people to church and hoping that pastor would preach a message that would touch their hearts. but its about winning their hearts over, before bringing them to church. to do that, you'll have to be there for that person since day one, no matter rain or shine.

then when the time is ripe, naturally the person would want to go church.

the gospel is never forced down someone's throat. its the word, or our attitudes, that causes harden hearts to be soften, then His love that fills the void in the heart.

now lets stop forcing the gospel down throats, but let the love of God flow through us and into the world that needs Him!

Last post - June 11 2006

Today - September 9 2007

I've been on null for more than a year! are there anymore readers? hahaz.

for the past year, nothing much has happened. got into the army, got best trainee in my platoon, got into OCS and commissioned on June 9 2007.

something to be very proud of and glad that i made it through.

now that i'm commissioned, many would think that its time for me to slack. well, its barely the beginning because i'm still on course for my vocation! i'm training to be a recce commander and i'm sure its going to be extremely exciting.

cannot go into the details, but watch and see! i'll infiltrate your fridge like never before!

so many happenings recently, so many to say. but so little time, or rather lazy my fingers and brains are. all i'm thinking of is the ice cream tub thats waiting for me in the freezer and a cup of iced milo.

maybe this is the start of a blogging lifestyle again, but definitely not everyday because i'm a stay in trainee. would only get to book out on fridays and if i get confined, sundays.

even officers get confined! boo!