updates!

been quite sometime since i last updated! i've been busy busy and busy=P

firstly, we've officially moved to Singapore Expo!! we've been there for 3 weeks already and we're starting to fill up the entire place!! praise the Lord! recently during the Christmas celebrations, we had 4 services and when the altar call was given, the amount of people that responded was innumerable!

even the taiwan ambassdor responded!! i had to open up a way for him as he proceeded down to respond. praise God!! he was very appreciative of my efforts as i followed him throughout, opening ways for him to walk through.

i feel that serving in expo is quite fun. everyone has to put in that extra effort, to stand in the gap. rising up in ministry was challenging, but now in expo, i feel that everyone is rising up, taking on the challenge because there are so many things for us to take ownership of.

secondly, its my birthday this saturday!! woohoo!! finally i'm officially 21!! if you don't know what to buy for me, its ok!! here's my wishlist -

• iPod Video
• DKNY Watch
• Topman Jeans
• CK Shirts (Charmaine, do you remember this?)
• Nice Long Sleeve Shirts
• Suits
• More T-Shirts
• CASH! (To buy things i like!)
• Shoes
• New Specs?

notice that its all in pural? i don't mind multiple gifts, as long as its different=P

and lastly, the root beer float at i-can't-remember-where is FANTASTIC!

Joel, I baptise you in the name of the Father, Son and The Holy Spirit!

4 December 2005 will remain as a very special day for my walk with God because its the day that i get baptised!

nothing dramatic happened, no voices from heaven or doves landing on me, but something spiritual happened! my old man has DIED and i'm a new man now!! with the power of the Holy Spirit and the devil will NEVER get to control me anymore! muahhAha!!

another special thing is that i'm the last person to get baptised in the Jurong West premises! haha!! so cool!! the VERYVERY last person~ =P even pastor aries and pastor audrey were saying that i'm very blessed~ loL=P

btw, my baptism name is Jerome. but pastor aries called me joel instead!! hahaZz~ i guess coz he knows my name, if not, he simply read the first name on my sticker~ =P

took a lot of pictures!! so fun!! for the first time i was so excited about taking pictures!! hahazz! i practically ran everywhere to look for friends, in wet shirt n shorts, to take pictures=P but i've only received a few pictures~ faster send me the pictures!! =P

thanks to charmaine, my official photographer, sijia, who took loads of pictures for me, taifong, who took a few snapshots for me and fajin, who took a few snapshots of me too=D

woohoo!!

complains from charmaine, saying that i never blog. heh~ lazy to blog and don't know what to blog mah=P

anyway, today is SOMEONE'S birthday, but i can't seem to remember who that person is. so lets just forget about it and move on with life=)

we're moving to EXPO in just one more week!! *excited* we had our security briefing / training on EXPO and i'm amazed by the capacity and size of expo. though we haven been there to see it for ourselves, looking at the map itself amazes me.

moving to expo also means that we have to increase our capacity. we can't do things the way we did in Jurong West because its so different! expo is about 3 times bigger and there are so many sectors that contains thousands of people. if we're unable to increase our capacity, we can never serve God with our best.

with so much changes, everyone would be forced to move out of their comfort zone, to make adjustments and to rise up and take ownership. those left behind would eventually fall away because God has moved on. do you want to move with God or fall away?

anyway, life's been great=) a few changes here and there, adapting to changes around my life and accepting things with a pinch of salt. sometimes its tough, but its all worth it at the end of the day.

times may get tough, but tough times don't last! it takes more than patience and understanding to get over tough times. it takes pure determination, mental strength and calmness of the mind to access the siuation and not make things worst.

sometimes its just so hard to understand, but forcing it down with a pinch of salt and keeping quiet does wonders. no wonder the bible says that the more you speak, the more you sin. so if you're facing a difficult situation next time, the best solution is to keep quiet, stand back and access the siuation!!

managing emotions and thoughts is always so important because they can torment you the entire day. learning to control them should be taught in primary school!! its so important to manage our emotions and thoughts because it makes the difference between a happy person or a depressed one.

the devil knows our weaknesses and he constantly uses them to torment us. we can't fend off the devil using our own strength or thoughts. but only thru the word of God, the devil will be binded! at times i wished that i had that rhema word from God, and knowing that His voice is always there, i have to be very sensitive to His voice.

it can be tough during that period of time, but when you hear His voice, it almost feels like the power of water breaking through a waterdam.

all it takes is just a special moment to take all all doubts, fears and worries. just that special 60 seconds can make a difference between a great day or a bad day. sometimes words just cannot express our feelings, thats when our actions play an important role.

oh well, these are some of the thoughts that are in my mind currently=)

please allow me to complain and rant like a mad dog in this post.

what is the school thinking of!? giving students projects that we have NO IDEA how to start. the best part? all of them require programming and the programming language is a language that we never learnt in school!

they encourage it because it promotes learning and sourcing of solutions, but dont they realize that its tiring!? imagine sitting down infront of our PC for 8 hours, staring at codes that you totally don't understand and sourcing for solutions that can never be found in the Internet!?

i shall stop here. i'm lazy to type.

how big is God??

He's very very very very BIG!!

updates?

sleepy and still sleepy

expectations

we're all expectation-people. we expect a certain level of standard from people and a higher standard from close friends and spouses.

sometimes arguments occur because we expect too much and thus misunderstand each other. usually when you know that your friends are of that level, you would never expect him/her to fall below the target.

but there are several things that i've learnt about managing our expectation level.

the more we expect, the harder we fall. when we expect high hopes and dreams, we tend to feel that the reality is not up to standard. thus causing disappointments.

but that doesn't mean that we don't expect anything!!

Jesus must have knew that Simon Peter would be the rock that He builds His church upon. thus He could have set high standards for Simon Peter. but Simon Peter failed Him so often, even rejecting Him 3 times.

Jesus knew about the END RESULTS. He knew that He had to die, so that the Holy Spirit can be poured out on all flesh. He knew that He had to be gone, so that Someone else can come.

if the future seems hazy, do we still continue building sandcastles in the air? its time to plan and do something about it!!

sometimes we hope that things would turn out differently. well, doesn't it bring out the creativity of God and how flexible God is? since He's so creative and flexible, why can't we all be creative and flexible too? be quick to adjust to changes, to make decisions and to reorganise thoughts.

and when things are seriously bad, do we still make big plans? plan small and careful steps that ensure victory!!

expectations of something / someone can make differences.

updates!

just thought of sharing about moving on in this entry.

many of us are being hindered from reaching their maximum potential by life. why? because they are unable to let go and move on with their life.

they choose to hang onto the problem, never letting it go and thinking that times would change.

yes! just actions may result in changes, but would the person continue to make a difference in your life or would that person end up hindering your walk with God?

true friends are people that flow in thoughts with you, and understands what you are going through even when there is no verbal communication. how many true friends we have in a lifetime?

does that make me sound like i'm a heartless creep? no! i do not forsake my friends when they need help. but when the friendship is on the rocks, what matters the most is the effort put in to restore the friendship.

Jesus came to this earth and died on the cross for us. He made that effort to restore that relationship between man and God. the 12 disciples, being filled with the Holy Spirit, went about preaching the gospel and thats how the Church started.

do you notice that its a two way situation? Jesus came down, died and the 12 disciples preached. there were actions involved! the 12 disciples could have kept quiet and refused to preach the gospel, but because they experienced the power of God through Jesus Christ's ministry on earth, they went about sharing about the power of God.

likewise in friendship. if a friendship is being damaged, we do all kinds of things possible to restore the friendship. one person can do all he wants to restore the friendship and though the problem may seem solved, the actions of the other may not justify it.

it takes two hands to clap!

if you're serious about the friendship, do something to show that you treasure the friendship!!

friendship is basically built on trust. if the trust is not there, its always hard to digest things mentioned. why would the trust be broken? through many ways!

ways like being insensitive, sudden change of focus and the worst of all, mentioning of secrets to someone else.

i may not know what's happening behind my back, but i got the Holy Spirit to help me! sometimes i tend to over react and think too much, but that doesn't mean that i stop using the Holy Spirit! He's the greatest Helper i can ever find and He prompts me whenever something seem to be happening.

just that i need to fine tune the sensitivity of the voice of the Holy Spirit=P

anyway, in situations when you feel like its a dead end and there's no where else to go, thats when you have to decide to move on or to hang on.

a mature man / women of God makes decisions, not leave things lying around. sometimes its painful to let go, but lets not be like the little girl that refuses to let go of her plastic pearls when she could have gotten real pearls on her birthday.

life's wonderful!

when you think that everything is going down hill, God intervenes and makes Himself felt.

God's really great! i've been SOOO blessed recently and even in ministry, i'm getting "promoted" from elite 3 to elite 2 and for service 6 last sunday, ELITE 1!! well, because bro james, kaikeong had stuffs to do in service 6, so they left us and bro mike assigned me as elite 1 =)

it was a great experience as elite 1, totally different from normal services. thank God nothing much happened and i didn't experience much difficulties.

i haven been updating much because everyday of my life has been quite the same. waking up at 7am, school, dinner then home. it has become a boring routine, but at least there's table tennis to play in class. heh=P

services 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 were fantastic! received revelations, wisdom and understanding of several stuffs and i feel that i'm already starting to change! ahahz=P the messages from Pastor Carl and Pastor Robert changed my thinking and my faith in God went a notch higher.

how do i know that? the devil's attacking me everyday, playing mindgames with me, that causes me to think negative thoughts and fear. thank God for a great God! as i put my faith and trust in Him, He will take care of the rest, which means He ensure that everything else fine!! i'll just have to focus and trust in Him!

we serve a great God!! hallelujah!

Lifehouse - Breathing

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what i'm gonna do when i get there
I take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
Its where i wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be

I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth
And i'm trying to identify the voices in my head
God wish won't you
Let me feel one more time what if feels like to feel
And break these caluses off me one more time

Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside of your door
And listen to you breathing
Its where I wanna be, yeah

Oh i don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting for
The scraps to fall off of your table to the ground
La da da da...
Cause i just wanna be here now

Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
Its where i wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be

Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
Its where i wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be

IHP.

its just the second day and i'm getting really sick of it. why must i wake up at 7am everyday and go to school, in a freezing room and stare at my laptop!?

argh!!

projects have been assigned, but not some areas are not confirmed. i still gotta go for C Programming crash course before i can even attempt programming the integrated software for my project.

so what do i do in the mean time?

listen to songs, play really crap games and chat online.

its so freaking bored and cold in this room that i can't even think!

been such a long time since i last blogged!!

nothing much to update~

life's great and God is still a good God =)

heart of worship.

a whole new meaning to it

seems that everything kinda pieced together after service.

pastor tan shared about staying on our course, finishing strong in God. he shared about our destiny, purpose thats linked to our desires, how we trust God in our walk with Him and not allowing disappointments in our lives to bring us down.

he shared an analogy about people boarding the plane to LA, not knowing who the pilot is, and not knowing how the flight plan to LA and obeying simple instructions from the stewardess when the plane hits a turbulance.

with something thats of the norm, pastor tan used it to describe our walk with God.

we KNOW our destination (desires that the Holy Spirit placed in us). but we do not know how we're going to reach that destination. so we trust God to bring us to the right places, best places, that leads us to our destination.

along the way, we may meet problems and rough times, but if we listen and obey the voice of God, we would be safe! God is a good God and He wouldn't harm us!

when the plane hits an turbulance, do you knock on the cabin and instruct the pilot, or do you scramble to your seat and pray hard?

trust God!

God works towards our destination! He already has wonderful plans for everyone of us, but do we want to obey and yield to Him?

like any commerical plane, there's always a risk of being hijacked. disappointments can hijack our "planes" and cause it to go to another destination.

disappointment -> resentment -> bitterness.

bitterness is like poison to the soul. it would never reveal itself until triggered. by then, it would be too late because the damage is already done. once we have the careless, couldn't be bothered, attitude, beware! because bitterness maybe manifesting in you already.

bitterness has the power to overshadow relationships, the value and importance! that is why unresolved problems often leads to arguments, thus bitterness builds up and when it rears its ugly head, people breakup and give up relationships.

forgiveness is the only antidote for bitterness. its not just giving the person a chance to prove that he's really sorry. but its a GIFT, grace! the grace to forgive someone because of the VALUE of the relationship.

God forgives everyone of us because we're all valuable to Him. there's only one of us on this earth! we're all precious to Him!!

when God forgives, He has the FAITH that we would change for the better. likewise when we forgive someone, we must have the faith that he/she will change for the better!!

the bible says that if someone sins against us 7 times in a day and if he asks for forgiveness, we forgive that person 7 times in that day too!! look like how merciful our God is!!

but if we continue with the bitterness of our hearts, we would end up in a place of no repentance, a place where we can't even find God's peace in our hearts because there's just too many hatred in our hearts.

its our duty to forgive.

photos are great memory triggers.

a picture is worth a thousand words and a picture can trigger all sorts of memories kept in our mind.

received 200mb of pictures from sean just now and as i was browsing through the photos, all kinds of memories came flooding into my mind. those bittersweet moments, euphoria and times of celebrations seems like yesterday.

everyone have moved on with their lives, back to what they used to do, but for some, its a life changing event.

treasure moments like this because you'll never know what will tomorrow bring.

friends, for eternity=)

blessed

its been a very long weekend, but i really treasure, experienced and learnt many things.

willy wonka~ willy wonka~

hAaz=P finally i watched Charlie And The Chocolate Factory!! defintely worth the money and not only the show was nice, i really felt captivated, like as though i'm the in the factory itself!! =D

i don't understand why so many critics derate the movie just because the chocolate river isn't realistic enough or about some other stuffs~ really. i sat throughout the movie as though a 5 year old staring at a huge display of wonka's chocolate, wondering which chocolate bar contains the golden ticket. i was totally absorbed in the movie, thoughts alike from karenty. heh~

the show teaches about several stuffs~ not being greedy, not being whiny, not being proud and not being rude. at the end of the day, the good and humble boy, charlie, became the only survivor and he inherited the chocolate factory.

he had several extra points too. a boy at his age, his thinking is very matured and growing up in a poor family, he has learnt to place his family first in his life. not only that, he respects his elders and parents~

he was ready to sell his golden ticket so that his family would have money. he was determined to stay with the family members even though willy wonka gave him the chance to join him in the factory.

basically, he's the good boy in everyone's heart~ lolz=)

sacrifice. giving what we have to God, not the surplus.

everyone sacrifices in the kingdom of God, its all an equal amount. doesn't mean that if i stay throughout prayer meeting, i sacrifice more than those that left halfway through.

we never know the situations they are going through and they maybe facing crisis, but they put God first in their lives and honor Him by sacrificing their time to focus on His face.

such unsung heros, God will honor them.

let me take you all on a journey.

on our church's 16 anniversary, we filled up indoor stadium. we had to reject close to 300 members. i was told that indoor stadium maximum capacity is 12,000. Pastor Kong shared that some zones had their service on saturday~ something that not everyone knows.

lets switch our faith mode on.

if SIS is still small for our church, won't our future 7,000 seater stadium be TOO small within 2-3 years?

18,500 divide by 6 = 2,642 <- currently this is our average attendance for 6 services.

so if we have a 7,000 seater stadium, we would have 2.6 services, which rounds off to 3 services. in 2-3 years time, by the grace of God, if we have 6 services again, the attendance would run off to 42,000!!

old trafford sits 55,000 people. if we have 6 services, it would total up to 330,000!!

can you just imagine the day when 55,000 people come together and worship as one body of Christ? AMAZING.

our God IS amazing.

sunday=)

praise God!! my mom signed up for maxonline 6500 and they gave away a HP pocketPC as part of the promotion!!! though its not the latest model, but quite a number of church members are using that model and it seems rather well liked=D

pastor kong shared about worship today and even though it was a repeated sermon, and my third time listening to it, i learnt so much more and understood things better. pastor phil shared that worship is when God is the ONLY one in our life.

joshua clearly showed that God is His only one in his life. though he wasn't the outstanding leader, God used him to bring the israelites to the promised land. joshua oftened lingered in the presence of God, without any agenda!! he simply loved the presence of God and he often stayed behind to pray, to dwell in the presence of God.

when we have an intimate relationship with God, He reveals secrets to us!! isn't that amazing?

God is looking for someone who's after His heart. not someone who's after His heart and with conditions attached to it. someone who's willing to lay down his life in exchange of all of Him. not knowing what the future may bring; just wanting to serve God.

often people ask me whats my plan after the army, and i'll rattle off - i'll enroll into the SOT and hopefully by then, i'll get into full time ministry.

i realized that such plans is not serving God, but its ministry. its like telling God what i want to do for Him, instead of what He wants me to do. furthermore, the bible says that we can never be assured of what tomorrow comes. everything happens by the grace of God, by His divine timing.

its great to have visions, as they're from the Lord. but to have plans is another thing altogether. bible says if we don't plan, we plan to fail. but we have to plan with the fear of the Lord. when God gave a vision, His people planned. why? because God never fails to make the vision come to past.

back to worship =)

worshipping God is definitely amazing. pastor ming once said that he doesn't understand why some people worship God and their facial expression doesn't change. its always a -_- look, even when its fast beat songs.

kinda understood that today as i found myself FULL of expressions, singing till my throat hurt, giving my best to my Lord and i looked around and saw people just standing there clapping their hands with that i-can't-be-bothered look.

really sad seeing that happening. is our God such a boring God that you can't stir yourself up and praise Him? please don't say that you worship Him in your heart, because whatever your heart expresses, your physical being expresses it too.

oh well. i'm not in the position to judge people too. heh~

well. KEEPING MY FOCUS ON GOD!!!

spent the entire day thinking about the current affairs of my life.

sometimes sacrifices have to be made, lines have to be drawn and determination have to be increased.

you just wish to shut everyone out and meet God face to face. i've nothing to say, but i just want to linger in His presence, to soak in His love. He has been so true to me and there's so much more for me to know about Him.

so much more i've yet to experience and see.

i don't want to lose out on God's blessing because of a wrong decision i make.

what a long day!

woke up at 7am and blurly messaged the wrong person, telling her that i've woken up. traveled down to eunos to meet up with the security guys to play soccer!

was rather excited because its my first time playing soccer with them and its been a long time since i last exercised too~ game started and i was quite on form. the first match lasted really long and it drained most of my energy.

we reformed groups when everyone was there and i was in kuowei's team, compromising of Bro ChongKeng, Bro Michael's brother, Bro KuoWei and another bro whose name i can't remember. all of them were great players and we won all our matches and some of them were won at record time! hahazz! praise God=P

had lunch and went to east coast park to join my cellgroup of the meeting. had a really bad headache by then, but i i just went ahead and met them. the other cellgroup came and they started playing games~ didn't join them as my headache got worst and all i wanted was just to sit there and rest.

my headache finally got slightly better after hours and we played captain's ball. bad move. headache came back on. eugene came back and offered to bring his radio down, so i followed him and we started jogging. bad move again. headache came back, worst.

finally we got back and the bbq was starting.

didn't eat much because of my throbbling headache.

chinpor, eugene, eyoung and myself then made our way to the stone walls and watched the fireworks from the padang; it was quite an amazing slight.

we started singing worship songs and eugene started to share with chinpor about his friend and about things he went through before. could feel that something special was happening and could also feel the conviction in their speech~ thank God for that=)

i didn't talk much, but continued worshippin God.

finally we packed up and left.

received a call from zhaowei, asking if i'm able to head down to suntec and get Sister Cynthia a cup of coffee from starbucks or coffeebean. agreed to help since its on the way.

coffeebean was closed by then and i walked all the way back to buy the coffee from starbucks. then its a long walk back to tower 3. but Sister Cynthia didn't answer my call when i was standing outside church office, so i left the drink at the security post.

-

as you can tell, today's entry is very dry. i'm still suffering from throbbling headache and STOMACHACHE now. =/

okie. i decided to give glory to God by sharing some of the amazing things He done for the past few days.

Day 1 - the first day was more of the moulding and sharpening process. i was assigned to be with the south african ambassador and escorting her is fairly easy because Pastor Yong Kiang is with her too~ didn't do much that day, but learnt more about approaching people.

Day 2 - Bro Michael said that i'll be assisting Bro Robin in escorting Rev Colin Dye. was SUPER excited because its like a huge responsibility. i opened the door for Rev Colin and he stepped out with a smile, shook my hand and asked for my real name.

i had no idea why he asked for my real name, until he started preaching. loLz=P

throughout the day, i learnt several things that an elite must take notice, moving at the right timing and bring pro-active.

Day 3 - the best saved for the last day!!

Church Anniversary - i was assigned to escort Pastor Sun's parents~ they're really nice people and Pastor Sun's mom kept thanking me throughout the day~ hahaZz=P Bro Joseph was with them too, so i was assisting him in some stuffs too. firstly, he needed guest passes for some other guests. thank God i took hold of some passes and handed them over.

then, he told me he needs one more. so i went to the ushers' logistic room and got it. felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to get one more and i obeyed. went out to meet Bro Joseph and informed him that i've an extra pass. immediately, he smiled and said he needs that extra pass too~

thank God! like what Bro David says - being an Elite, we're to assist church leaders in any ways and to provide security.

church anniversary was great! Pastor Kong preached about having a vision for the future. before the salvation altar call was given, suddenly the Holy Spirit showed me this person, gary, who's karen's friend, and i felt led to pray for him.

felt a breakthrough in him when Pastor Kong gave the altarcall. felt extremely excited in my Spirit even though i was rushing about.

messaged karen - TELL ME GOOD NEWS!!! and moments later, i didnt receive good news. i received GREAT news from her!! hahazz!! praise the Lord!!

gary received Christ and he was touched by the love of God. praise God!! upon hearing gary's "past" from karen, it was already amazing that he agreed to go for church service. now he gave his life to Christ and wants to continue going to church services!! hallelujah!!

prayers work MIRACLES!!

well, karen did most of the job~ hAhaz=) but i can't help but feel excited for her too~ she has been really making a difference in the lives of other people.

FOP - i was assigned to MARTIN SMITH!! ok. girls please stop screaming. its quite normal for TWO good looking guys to be together=) hahazz!! martin smith is the lead singer of Delirious? and he has an AMAZING voice.

he's seriously cool, funny and very friendly. chatted with him at backstage and he even put his arms around me~ lolz=P

then Bro Michael called me over and informed me that i'll be following him. not knowing what was going on, i followed. he gave me instructions and i did so. then Bro Michael came over and thanked me, even said that i'm very sharp~ praise God for that! =D

i realized on my way home, the amount of responsibilty that has been given to me. i really thank God for that and ALL the experiences i went through. definitely there's so much more to share, but its mainly in the Spiritual Realm that "exploded" with excitment.

Bro Robin shared that when we serve, there's no right or wrong. but we must serve to our best because we want to serve God with the best of our abilities. when we try our best, no one can blame us =)

REALLY feel blessed to be in the elites team~ Bro David isn't as scary as what i think and he has been teaching me a lot of things, sharing with me some stuffs that i need to know. Bro Robin has been encouraging me, boosting my confidence. Bro Michael has been really happy with my performance and he got promoted to 45!! an offical team leader!! praise the LORD!!

last but not the least. thank God for the wonderful 3 days. great moulding, stretching process.

how great is our God.

praise GOD!!!!

the past three days has been EXTREMELY exciting for me and i felt i've brokenthrough in my ministry and in my Spirit man!!

if i were to list down my experiences here, it would take too long. hahahaz!!

but i just want to push across this message - GOD IS A GOOD GOD!

anyone willing to pay for me California Fitness Gym membership?

i'm in the look-good, feel-good mood again.

Jesus came to this earth. He preached, He teached and He healed. He did not just preach, did not just teach, did not just healed.

He preached, taught and healed in 1 chapter of the bible.

that is the REAL power of God.

spoken by, Oral Roberts.

-

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

hahaZz=D went for service with my cellgroup members, as usual, was a tad frustrated that even after wasting 11 sms, no one bothered to queue together. in the end, we had to settle sitting at different places.

pastor mike shared about going onto the next level. it was certainly a great message that challenged everyone to keep moving forward in life. i even started to think if i'm doing things in my comfort zone and i challenged myself to take ownership in my ministry and even cellgroup.

pastor mike gave altarcalls and as usual, i went down to support. i saw pastor david laying hands and there wasn't any elites following him, thus i took the intiative to follow him, to support him. little did i expect that when he prayed for a brother, he turned to me and told me to pray for him.

there i was, slightly confused, but made a quick decision. with a quick ok, i turned around and started to pray for the brother.

he manifested and the spirit was fighting back strongly. i prayed even stronger in tongues and the spirit fought back even more. i had to use my knees and both my hands to pin him down, at the same time, to pray for him and discern the spirit.

in my heart, i seriously don't know what to do, i didn't know what to pray for. but all i know is that i've the authority and anointing of the Holy Spirit to cast out all demonic controls. slowly i started to pray for the brother.

when i said the name JESUS, the spirit reacted violently. then i remembered a verse in the bible saying that in My name, you shall cast out all demons!! felt REALLY excited i started to declare Jesus as Lord and Savior, and the devil has no control over the brother.

i guess there were several strongholds in his life. i prayed until my voice turned coarse, but i kept my focus on him. at the same time, he seemed to be getting better, so i started telling him to let go and to resist the devil together with me and also shared with him about the blood of Jesus Christ.

i guess it took close to 30 minutes before he was well again. after vomiting, he said that he feels dizzy and he doesn't know why~ couldn't help but laugh a little=P hahaZz~

thank God for the SOT student that helped me when no one else did.

thank God for using me, for anointing me, to cast out demons in His name. He showed me, once again, how true and powerful He is. thank God for the anointing of the Holy Spirit. without the Holy Spirit, i wouldn't have the anointing to cast out demons.

this anointing that has been given to me, i will not abuse or misuse it. i will only use it to bring glory to God.

-

it was almost tested immediately. after the brother recovered, i went up to level 1 to meet my cellgroup members. the moment i stepped in, i heard eugene and chinpor saying that they didn't get prayed for. so i suggested that they go for the next service. but the response i got was some-what similar to what i experienced.

holy anger built up in my Spirit.

they resisted and even felt disgusted at the name of Jesus Christ. when i stepped towards them and talked to them, they stepped backwards. they even started to be violent.

important lesson here; spirits were controling them. immediately i pulled them towards me and challenged them to go for the next service. though much resistance, through the authority of Jesus Christ, chinpor agreed to go for the next service.

as for eugene, he walked off, ignoring me.

after 5 minutes, i sent both of them a sms. they didn't reply until quite long later. eugene regained control, but chinpor was still fuming mad. he challenged me and i gladly accepted the challenge.

by the grace of God, with a quote from the bible, chinpor's anger subsided.

-

today's experience alone has caused me to step out in faith, to do something that i never thought i would do. but after experiencing the power of God, i CAN'T WAIT for the next oppounity =)

from glory to glory!!

amazing~ pastor mike connell's in town, and he's preaching in city harvest church!!

just came back from services 2 and 3 and the power of God was demonstrated powerfully infront of everyone. evil spirits were cast out in Jesus' name and broken hearts were healed by God. being there to witness everything was just amazing.

praying for those who are controlled by the evil spirits and casting out evil spirits together with pastor mike and his team of "spirit-busters"

THANK GOD for the chance to serve and to be exposed to differnet environment in the ministry. was kinda stretched hard today but thank God everything went well and was even appreciated a number of times by my leaders and guests!

glory to God!!

though it can be quite scary in the beginning when people start manifesting, but i got really used to it after a while and thought that its really good because the reason why they're manifesting is because the evil spirit is being disturbed and is struggling.

so with prayers, deliverance comes and sets people free!

when some feel the love of God, they break down and cry. some would still fight back because the spirit has gone strong inside them and the spirit's resisting to be delivered. but eventually the prayer of a righteous prevails much.

deliverence seems like a difficult task. but when the anointing is poured upon all flesh, anyone can pray for those that are going through manifestations!!

karen shared that she prayed for a brother who sat beside her. he manifested and she prayed for me. WAH!! i prayed for like...... 30+ people, but its just because i'm the one catching them, and i'm just praying in the Spirit, in agreement with the pastor or helper.

i wish that i had her experience!! to cast out evil spirits by the anointing of the Holy Spirit!!! well. i'll get my chance! =D

i wonder if pastor mike remembers me~ lolz=P

- warning! LONG entry today=) -

read half of benny hinn's the anointing in one afternoon~

i'm so engrossed in the book~ benny hinn shared his experience walking with the Holy Spirit, and the anointing he receives through the Holy Spirit. its amazing how the anointing progresses and how benny hinn moves powerfully in the realm of the Spirit.

reading that book has made me realized that i don't even know the Holy Spirit~ loLz~ there's still loads of untapped power in Him and loads more for me to find out about Him.

we've to fellowship with Him, the Holy Spirit, as a person! for this year alone, i think this word fellowship and intimate relationship has come hand in hand.

benny hinn shared that when he prays, he waits for the presence of the Holy Spirit. it can take a long time and when the Holy Spirit steps into his room, tears just flow down his face. then when he starts praying, its so much more effective.

i really admire benny hinn and the way God is using him to touch millions of people. not only that, i truly admire the intimate relationship he has with the Lord. you can say that i'm spiritually jealous~ heh=P

i really pray that i'll be able to experience what he experience every night in his room, kneeling and waiting upon the Lord. then when the Holy Spirit steps into my room, i'll just spend more time worshipping Him.

i do not just want to stand at the outer courts, but i want to be in the holies of holies, where God is. i want my everyday life to be Spirit-filled, to be an exciting encounter with the Holy Spirit. it will not be just a once-in-a-while feeling, but the presence of God ALWAYS IN my life.

being sensitive to the Holy Spirit, being obedient to Him and yielding to Him would allow the Holy Spirit to anoint us a little more. when He sees that we're trustable with the power, He adds more.

can you imagine how much benny hinn went through, the anointing upon his life and he says that he's still learning from other people and from the Holy Spirit as well.

there's something different about showmanship and pride.

the glory goes to God, not himself. without the Holy Spirit, he's unable to do anything; no miracles! but with the Holy Spirit, benny hinn's a co-worker and together, he obeys what the Spirit says and the Spirit does what He does best!!

i don't know about you, but it has certainly made me thirst for more of the anointing of the Holy Spirit in my life and wanting to experience more of Him in my life.

i've to constantly cruxify my selfish desires and flesh in order to yield to the Holy Spirit. its no longer i who lives, but Christ who lives in me. you realize that selfish desires has always been in your mind when the Holy Spirit luminates your mind, you realize that the reason why you wanna be this or that is because of the benefits or authority you gonna have.

the Holy Spirit doesn't work this way and He wouldn't come and manifest in you. God is looking for a pure and willing heart, a heart thats purely after Him, that doesn't care about the benefits and authority he may receive.

but God is looking for that someone who is willing to do anything and will put Him first and only in His heart. in order words, someone who's willing to lay down his life, in exchange for all of Him. someone humble, obedient and brave.

one way to that is to become dead to self.

-

i had a three hours break and i logged into Pastor Ulf's website and watched Another Day Of Victory. though it was just a 30 minute sermon, preached in CHC recently, i was greatly blessed by the word of God.

Pastor Ulf shared about calling. that we're called to Christ, called to salvation. its not a one time process, but its a life long process that everyone goes through. he also shared that there should be unity in the body of Christ, then the power of God would be demostrated throughout the earth.

on the day of the Pentecost, the disciples and thousands others were united in prayer in the upper room. then the Holy Spirit came in power and filled everyone. within hours, the first church is birth - 3000 members!!

when Jesus was on earth, He was united in thoughts and in Spirit with the Holy Spirit and Father God. thus Jesus was able to perform miracles through the anointing of the Holy Spirit and Father God got the glory through Jesus because Jesus was a human being.

all the miracles wouldn't be possible without the Holy Spirit. He comes with the anointing (power) and He's ON EARTH WITH US!!!

have you neglected the Holy Spirit in your everyday life? i certainly did and i want to yield to the Holy Spirit, my encourager, comforter, strength and companion.

Jehovah Jireh - God has already provided, way before you think.

-

why do people say "sorry" when you tell them "excuse me" ?

went for service with my cellgroup earlier and it was great. though it was the third time listening to it, and i even memorized Pastor Kong's jokes, i still received revelations fresh from the oven and a better understanding to the sermon, Potential.

during worship, i had an exciting encounter with God. His presence filled the entire auditorium and i humbled myself, gave all that i have to Him. then together, we went through the visions He placed in my heart. no doubt it was an exciting encounter, but it made me realize, or rediscover, how much i needed the power of the Holy Spirit in my life.

i may have the potential, talent and anointing to do things for Him. but if there's no power, its like dead-works.

i need to know the Holy Spirit in an intimate way and i want to yield to Him. i cannot afford to lose my focus and i got to be disciplined. geniuses use 4% of their brainpower, its just that extra hardwork and focus that makes the difference.

i got to move at my full capacity, but before i know my maximum capacity, i got to go beyond my limits. to live a life for Christ thats totally yielded to Him; i'm radical for Christ.

i don't know how and i don't know when's the breakthrough. but all i know is that my God is never late and never will He forsake me.

Potential.

in me lies a great potential to do great things for God. its all up to me if i want to work hard to release my potential through my vision.

the visions that God placed in my heart - serving in the security ministry, serving as a cellgroup leader, serving as a pastor in CHC, preaching the word of God, serving as a healing evangelist.

every single one of the visions He has given me seems tough. when i had the vision to serve in security ministry, i was shocked because i wasn't mature enough, nor i had the security "style". but by the grace of God, i got into security and i got moulded to become a security personnel.

the rest of the visions? its gonna take sometime from now, but i believe God will bring me to that point, making sure that the vision comes to past. He is never late =)

i've to stretch my capacity so that i'll be able to have the ability to fulfill God's vision! maximum potential requires hardwork!! without hardwork, its never 100% ability!!

so what exactly is potential? its the ability to do things that have yet come to past!

are you building sand castles in the air or are you making dreams a reality?

choose God.

sacrifice.

sacrifice of praise.

altar, set apart.

anointing.

hunger.

thrist.

leadership.

blessing.

never letting go.

remembering.

discipline.

disciple of Christ.

Christ in me.

friday~ a day of rest for me? =)

didn't do much today. planned to go for a jog with eugene, but he has last minute plans. so the entire thingy was canceled. so i decided to rest the entire day on my bed, read my bible and books; maximized manhood by edwin louis cole.

second time reading that book and i've learnt a few more things~ i guess rather than allowing dust to collect on my books, i should reread them often and bless others with the books too~ sow a book, reap more books!!

manhood = Christlikeness. being the leader that gives direction, meek, strong and flexible. ministering to people around and definitely someone dependable.

headed for cellgroup straight from home and it was quite a long journey. but i'm getting quite used to it. it would be perfect if i have an iPod and i'll be able to listen to music or even listen to the preaching of the Word. -hint-

cellgroup was quite good~ things kinda flowed well and the presence of God filled the room.

-

those that seek God's face with all their hearts shall be rewarded. how do you seek His face with all your hearts?

with the Holy Spirit!! praying in tongues is communicating directly to God!

when you pray in tongues, something special builds up. your Spirit Man becomes active and you suddenly become sharp. you would be able to capture spiritual knowledge easily because your Spirit Man is alive.

not only that, with the Holy Spirit leading and guiding you, you become aware of His existance and your sensitivity towards Him would increase.

but always remember to pray with focus.

thats depending on God for strength.

was reading some of my really old posts and it really tickled me a lot. in the past, i would write about what i did throughout the day; boring people out.

now i write about what i learn in church or do in church and i hope it doesn't bore you out~ =P

seriously thank God for blogs like that. as i read through my old entries, i thank God He has changed me from the inside. i've been in church for 1 year and 9 months and i feel as though i've been in church for 20 years of my life.

my faith level grew consistantly and though there were dark moments, i thank God His guidance was near.

i was like a child back then. but slowly, my posts became more and more centralized on God and my thoughts became more and more mature. thank God for it!! it would be terrible for a 21 year old guy stuck with a 16 year old maturity.

some posts triggered past memories and definitely, foolishness. but i guess all these had happened and it has 1 way or another, moulded me to who i am today. BUT, thats not all~! my journey is far from being completed and i've a DESTINY to fulfill in Christ!

i cannot look back anymore and i can only look forward and press onto my goal.

was with karen in the school library earlier and she shared something important. we must NEVER forget our foundations as we rise up. the more we go back to the basics, the stronger our foundation will be and the HIGHER we would rise up.

she also shared about how she gauge other's spiritual level and her exciting stories regarding church.

the more i listened to her, the more i realized i've underestimated her. she's definitely a leader, on fire for God and purely after His will. though she may appear "blurish" and quiet, she's very detailed when it comes to God and she's definitely a strong woman of God.

definitely attractive, if you ask me. hahazz=P

then i chatted with samantha cheong in msn. she shared about her journey to school and the revelations she had. was greatly encouraged by them and amazed by the way God speaks to her even in bus journeys.

pray that God would speak to me more when i'm not falling asleep on the bus to school~ ahhaz=)

free day tomorrow!! don't know what to do, yet. any suggestions?

first offical duty in the elites.

was informed that i may have to escort Pastor Tan, if Pastor Sun were to appear in church. was kinda excited about this assignment, but it never came to past~

nevertheless, i helped booked lifts, carried stuffs for other pastors and at the end of the day, Pastor Kong thanked us personally.

Arise and Build 2005!!

sat in for 2 services and was greatly challenged by Pastor Kong. the presence of God filled the entire auditorium and everyone pledged for 6 months.

listened to Bro Michael sharing about his experience in the past arise and build and its really magnificent. everyone did their part when we shifted to jurong west, even Pastor Kong and Pastor Sun swept the floor.

giving something precious, that means something to us, to build God a house IN the MARKETPLACE, FOR the MARKETPLACE, to PENETRATE the MARKETPLACE!!

woah~ prayer meeting was so good that it felt better than emerge conference; loads of worship, meeting God face to face, kneeling and definitely intensed prayers.

i managed to stay focused throughout the prayer meeting and didn't even feel tired after 6 hours of prayers.

perhaps it wasn't any other prayer meeting for me; i had a fresh encounter with God.

though it wasn't anything significant, it really challenged my faith to step out of my comfort zone, into the unknown, and trust God all my life.

all He asked was just if i want to do great things for Him, even if i have to sacrifice things and people that i treasure.

wouldn't confess that i gave a "spiritual" answer, but i guess He's pleased=P

when God comes and speaks, its just so different. it almost seems like the devil is right beside you and telling you things that you wouldn't want to know. at the same time, God's presence and power simply flowed throughout the auditorium that you can't seem to get your thoughts right.

then in all that hustle, a voice came and asked me to trust Him.

with that, i placed my life on the altar.

He's in control.

how many times you wish that time would just slow down?

especially when you're sharing dreams, visions, experiences with friends. no matter who's sharing, its still very spiritual and it kinda shows the spiritual state we're in.

if we're on track or off track.

God arranged it for a reason. i may not exactly know the reason, but i do know that after sharing my dreams and visions, i hunger and thirst for MORE of Him. i feel like embracing Him and never letting go, feel like fellowshipping with Him and telling Him how much i treasure Him.

i don't know if you guys know about my dreams and visions, but its really something amazing from God and till today, when God reminds me about it, i get excited.

my ability grows to the level of my dreams! i may not be the final product, but i'll be the final product that God wants me to be!! constant yielding to the Holy Spirit and making good decisions WILL help me increase my ability.

i'm not afraid to be washed in Heaven's rain - just heard this verse from the song, Healing Rain. like the lyrics say, we cannot be afraid to stand up for God and make decisions that places Him first.

some people fear the vision God had given and eventually, God will look for someone else who is willing to carry the burden.

those that honor God, He will Honor back.

your future is secured with God, isn't that comforting enough to know?

accepting Christ is as easy as healing.

getting God's grace from destruction is easy too because He promised in 1 John1:9 - If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

but that doesn't mean that we continue sinning against God. the first sermon Jesus preached is - From that time Jesus began to preach and to say, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."

whats repentance? its an inward change of direction with an outward change of direction.

but beware~ there's worldly repentance and true repentance. you may ask whats the difference, so here's the answer. 2 Corithians 2:7 For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.

let me remind you that there's also a place of no repentance. Hebrews 12:17 For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears.

no doubt we need the grace of God everyday of our lives and God doesn't expect us to change overnight. but He will give us the strength to overcome our weakness because He sent the Helper to us.

everyone needs God and only a fool thinks that he doesn't need God. Psalms 14:1 To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David. The fool has said in his heart, "There is no God." They are corrupt, They have done abominable works, There is none who does good.

as we read on, God looked down from Heaven to look for those that seek God, but God found none. yet God promised in verse 7 that the salvation of Israel would come out of Zion! When the Lord brings back the captivity of His people, Let Jacob rejoice and Israel be glad.

this is how much God loves His creation! 1 Corithians 2:9 But as it is written: "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.

God WILL share secrets with YOU!! wonderful secrets that no man would know! isn't that amazing!?

don't you want to be part of this wonderful relationship with God?

confess and repent now, and He will be just to forgive us of our sins.

positive confession of the Word~!!

this is something so important that every believer MUST apply in their life!! why? because the TRUTH shall set you FREE. where does the truth come from? it comes from the WORD OF GOD!

not your circumstance, situations or problems!! the bible says He loves every single one of us, even the worst sinner to the ugliest, no matter in what condition we were in!

so what does that mean? it means that no matter WHO and WHAT kind of person you are, you're never condemned by Him. Job 15:6 - Your own mouth condemns you, and not I; Yes, your own lips testify against you.

no doubt there's challenges and difficult times, but we're overcomers! nothing's too difficult for our God and would He leave us alone? NO!

Jesus died on the cross so that the Holy Spirit can come. the Holy Spirit's our encourager. He knows what we're going through and He feels the pain too, as the Holy Spirit's a person.

you're never alone on this Spiritual Family and everyone is here for each other. we're not here to judge, to laugh at other's flaws or to look down on other people.

i never had an easy time being a Christian. i had doubts, valley experiences and thoughts of giving up. but there's a simple fact that kept me going.

Jesus Christ died on the cross for me. my life belongs to Him because He paid for all my sin and shame.

i made choices that placed God first. i made sacrifices and i stretched myself, walking INTO the unknown without asking God what would become of me.

God didnt promise me to be an elite member. but i sacrificed my time and i gave my best to Him. there are many capable leaders in security ministry, and i admire those in the elites because they get to serve pastors directly.

but never once, i dared to imagine myself being an elite. i merely prayed about it and kept my focus on whatever i was assigned to in security. after months of serving and giving my best, i could have given up.

but i didn't. i pressed on and eventually, a door opened up. those months of serving wasn't put to waste because i went through some of the most revelational trainings with my leaders. those teachings and sharing equipped me for what i'm going to expect.

Bro ChongKeng

• seeing the potential in someone is more important than giving a person a vision.
• i want you to see the potential, and then pray to God for a vision.
• our confidence should come from the potential that we know God has given us.

Bro KokYew

• to be an IC, you got to think like an IC.
• how are you going to be an IC, if you keep running to me for solution? THINK FOR YOURSELF, what is the BEST solution that will benefit everyone?

Bro Jimmy

• it takes MORE than a man to share his problems.
• thick skin, to take all the scoldings, but THIN heart, to receive God's grace.

you may think that because i'm good, spiritual, anointed.. whatever. but let me remind you..

i'm just a ordinary human being.

if i can do it, why can't you?

just hang in there, in HIS promises and according to His time, you will breakthrough.

how about treasuring your valley experience, ask God what does He want you to learn and get moulded hard!

its ALL a choice.

do you want to breakthrough?

first day serving as an elite.

if i could describe my experience, it would be something like - opening the door to your home, but everything inside has changed.

as an elite, more is expected out of me and i've to be pro-active. anticipation and standing by to serve the pastors at the fullest of my ability.

i believe that i'll be completely changed in my thinking and attitude after a certain period of time in the elites; thinking more like a leader and making decisions like one, being a confident and mature man of God.

i realized i've got to change and adapt really quickly in the elites. i've got to start thinking as a leader in the ministry and know whats happening, so that i'm able to react fast and right.

but not only that, i believe that i'm able to teach and encourage people with what i learnt and experienced in the ministry. whatever things i learnt in the ministry is applicable for my cellgroup and even school!

i can't wait to serve again, to learn more and to stretch myself so that i'm able to do greater things for God!

bro alvin shared something really useful today during prayer meeting. he taught us how to make friends with other people. its not just hi-bye friends, but friends that make differences in other people's lives.

he shared a verse, Proverbs 18:24 - A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

then he reminded us about Titus 1:5 - For this reason I left you in Crete, that you should set in order the things that are lacking, and appoint elders in every city as I commanded you.

our purpose in NP is not just to study, but to make a difference in the lives of the unchurched and to introduce them the Best Friend that they can have. not only that, its also the beginning and the stepping stones of our destiny in Christ, our ultimate calling He has for us.

we must never take things for granted and never think that evangelism is for another day. worst of all, being a professional Christian. Paul says in Galatians 5:14 - For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

doing things for the sake of doing it defeats the purpose. but when we really want to step into the lives of other people and sit down to fellowship with them, we must be prepared to give up things for them.

being a Christian is not about you yourself, but its about the people around us. if you want to be used by God, you got to step out in faith. you can never be prepared for God. God moves in the realm of faith, not the law or the methods man use.

its not the law or methods that make us holy and righteous. its by faith and through Jesus Christ we're made holy and righteous.

lets not forget the importance of the Holy Spirit. without the Holy Spirit, things that we're doing are simply dry and out of human effort. with the Holy Spirit, hearts are set on fire, He leads us and teaches us. revelations flow like a mighty river and the power of God is available.

do you want to have a dead Christian life with God, or one thats bursting with the Glory of God?

just finished watching Patch Adams and BOY!! its AN AMAZING SHOW!!

everything in the show really amazed me a lot, especially his love for the patients and why he's doing all these. best of all, its based on a true story!

if you guys are bored and are thinking of renting a VCD, do check out this show~ its definitely worth the money=)

i learnt many stuffs from the movie~ learnt about not focusing at the problem but focusing BEYOND the problem. focus on getting the problem solved, rather than getting "drowned" with the problem.

learnt that when we serve people, it doesn't come with a tag that says "Dr. Joel" or "Bro Joel" but its simply helping others to improve the quality of life. it doesn't mean that we go around with the authority and power to do things, but we do things because we want people around us to feel better at the end of the day.

its definitely not a routine or a profession.

though the movie maybe about Patch Adams going medical school and the things he did to treat his patients n stuffs, but i believe that if we apply the same logics and thinking to the things that we do, we would be able to create an impact Patch Adam created.

he's a genius, so are we=)

as long as we're able to think out of the box, to go the extra mile for others and to serve other people wholeheartedly, we can be history makers.

Patch Adam believes in humour, laughter as his medicine for patients. he believes in making his patients happy so that they do not focus on the pain and suffering that they go through.

likewise for the people around us. we lend a listening ear to them, we share their pain and suffering, but we do not just stop from there. we got to assist them in getting out of the pithole! more than just praying, we can fight the battle together with our "patients", standing strong together with them even during the worst of the battles.

so how do we do that?

constant prayer, constant fellowship, constant encouragement, making dreams reality for them, helping them focus on the positive aspects of life and never giving up.

it may sound like something you do everytime. but is what you're doing shallow and a profession? you do it because you know you have to do it. with that mentality, nothing's gonna change!

there must be LOVE for the people, a true revelation about God's love and His creation.

whats God's love?

His acceptance to us. we maybe the MOST foul creatures on earth, but He still loves us the SAME as the MOST beautiful creature.

His desire to reunite with us. like how a father yearns to see his child after spending 9 months in the mother's stomach. we're all like babies to God and He desires to hold us in His arms, to cradle us and tickle us all over.

His grace upon us. He could have wiped out the entire human race when Adam and Eve sinned against Him. but time and time again, He gave mankind chances to repent and return to God. yet time and time again, man has turned their backs against God. was He angry? definitely! did He want to destory everything? definitely! but did He? NO!! He remembers the promise He made to noah, abraham.

He sent his Son, Jesus, who died on the cross for our sins, so that the gap between man and God can be bridged forever. anyone who come before Jesus and confess their sins and repents of them and declares Him as Lord and Saviour would be reunited with Father God.

instantly, God forgives and forgets the sins that we did and the angels and God, Himself, dances around the throne of Heaven, celebrating the return of a lost sheep.

WOW!! isn't that amazing!?

what about His creation? we're all created in likeness of God. doesn't mean the LOOKS, but the seeds that are planted in our hearts. the seeds that were corrupted by the devil can be removed and God is able to plant seeds again and He would guard and protect our dreams and visions.

everyone in us has seeds. the more we sow into that area, we reap that harvest. you sow your entire life as a selfish person, you reap a selfish character not even knowing why people dislike hanging out with you!

the beauty of a child is that they are innocent and pure. the bible wants us to have child-like faith. child-like faith is trusting in God no matter what the situation is and placing all on the altar of God.

like how a child runs towards his father when he's scared. a child isn't afraid to show his discomforts, to ask for requests and to seek refuge when in trouble.

as we grow older, we tend to become independant and feel that we don't need anyone to help us. thus, pride is being sowed into and when we run into trouble, we're lost and we don't know who to run to.

sometimes we get the solution, but we reject it because its not the solution that we want. you want a solution thats quick, fast and easy for you. but God says the other way, thus you think that the fault isn't in you, but in others.

sit down, stop and think. if your action caused bad things to happen, whose fault is it? worst of all, if you can help in a situation and you didn't do anything, would you feel good about it?

stop looking around. don't bother about the speck at other people's eyes when you got a log in your own. doesn't mean that we live a selfish life, but we live to serve others.

if there's a mistake someone made, point it out and offer a solution. this way, the person would learn from you and you're given a chance to minister to him. isn't that wonderful?

we're all placed in this place for a purpose.

my purpose? to make a difference in the lives of others.

how? being a encourager, a light in the dark.

do you want to do this with me?

i guess one of the worst situations of getting the chicken pox is that you feel perfectly fine, but you're still confined at home. this stinks!!

worst is that you've finished watching all the VCDs at home and played every possible playable game in your laptop. you just get so bored that you watch the time tick away, not knowing what to do next.

but there's still so many things i've yet to do. i still gotta catch up with my bible reading, catch up with my school work especially and catch up with some good ol' friend online.

1 more week to go and i should be able to fully recover. praise God!

i can't wait to go back church, to attend overnight prayer meeting, to serve in the elites team, to praise and worship God in the holy of holies.

3 weeks of overnight prayer meetings, pastor kong would be there for the first 2 weeks. who wants to miss it!?!

church wide fast on wednesdays. its not just 12 hours, but its 24 hours!!

so many happenings in church~ woahhhHhhhHhh! how can i miss out on all these!?

stupid poxes that are dry and hard. its very hard to resist peeling them off=/

5th day of chicken pox.

it has been really boring, stuck at home, with nothing much to do. the poxes kinda multiplied themselves but seems like they are under control now~ thank God for medication. i wouldn't want to risk burst more poxes unknowingly, especially on my face~

friends have been messaging me, asking if i'm fine and stuffs. really appreciate their care and concern. classmates like hamzah, yanren and aiysah frequently message me in MSN, during school hours, and chat with me~ loLz=P

but i think one of the stupidest questions to ask a person with chicken pox is - does it itch? heh=P

would definitely say that i'm much more cranky for the past few days. sudden outbursts of anger and getting irratated suddenly. i guess thats common for sick people. so don't expect me to be that angel with wings and halo, treating you like gold.

its not interesting to be down with chicken pox, taking medication every 4 hours, feeling drowsy everytime you take them and being confined to your house. it stinks. as much as i want the poxes to go away, i want to go school and church!

i missed out on my first elite training on sunday and i felt really terrible. i have been looking forward to it eversince bro kokyew revealed that i maybe joinin the elites team. looking at the bright side, there's always next week and i do have a valid reason for not being there. but the feeling wouldn't be quite the same. it wouldn't be as special as last sunday.

stop whining.

i'm a child of God and nothing can stop me from achieving great things for God.

its not official, but i think i've gotten the chicken pox.

zzz

during this period of time, the skies roar with fighter jets thundering above.

since young, i've been very drawn to fighter jets and usually, fighter pilots give people the impression of success. thus i was very interested to be a fighter pilot.

lo and behold, my chance came. my sister got a form for me in the Singapore Youth Flying Club and i signed up immediately. everything went smoothly, my medical checks, interviews and briefings.

soon i was able to fly a plane, not quite a fighter plane, but a single engine two seater plane. i was very keen to start flying, but there was a slight problem. i couldn't commit enough time for YFC. many people told me to focus entirely on YFC, but i thought it would be stupid because i might fail my exams and repeat a semester.

flying is definitely not easy. with loads of things to remember in your mind, you have to recall every single one of them the moment the instructor asks us. the way they teach? just once over and they expect us to grasp everything.

i would say its definitely good as i forced myself to absorb as much as i could and kept very focused. but being a rookie flyer, i had my difficulties trying to vomit out every answer asked and focusing on the flight.

eventually i backed out due to excuses and reasons.

2 years later, as i was bathing, the familar sound filled my place. i looked up into the skies and saw 5 jets thundering across the skies in a formation. i stared at the jets as they turned away.

my heart was filled with envy and i could imagine myself in that cockpit, controling the fighter jet, thundering at the speed of sound. the excitment of controling a fighter jet with my hands and the power that i have within my fingers is simply mind blowing.

i can just imagine the blood rush and the G-Force that would be acting on them. even the view of Singapore from the skies, in a cockpit looks different; everything would be a blur because the speed is too fast.

like eagles, they soar high above the skies.

fighter pilots are usually the elites among all the pilots. they are well known for their leadership skills and they are highly respected by everyone. not only that, they get fat cheques when they go for training overseas and they usually can't finish their daily allowance.

a picture of a pilot in a cockpit gives the impression of success and achiever.

as they disappeared into the clouds, i woke up from my dream.

i maybe filled with envy, but i know that God is able to bring me up above the skies and everything else. He promised in Isaiah 40:31 - But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

my God is an awesome God.

it's just amazing.

God touched me in a refreshing way during worship today and i just felt myself worshipping at a total new level. all the words came from my heart and i felt as though i was having a conversion with Him. He just came and carried me into His arms and i felt as though i stepped into a Spiritual Realm, with Him only.

after worship, i felt fresh, anointed and ready for the word of God. Pastor Kong preached about finances, to prepare us for arise and build. he said something that really triggered my thinking. "if you give to the arise and build, but you are unable to pay your tidth faithfully, i rather you tidth only."

tidthing enables open heaven over our lives and Pastor Kong is very concerned about this area. if there isn't 100% tidthers, there wouldn't be a full open heaven and miracles, works of God can't be fully operated.

stayed in church after service and had bible studies. went to the security ministry and celebrated tsiu wei and bro lennard's birthday! hehz~ zhaowei and i had a great time hiding away from them as we're the cake carriers, again.

good news to share, PRAISE THE LORD!! bro chongkeng revealed to edwin and i that we would be starting our elites training from next week!! praise the Lord!! i still remember sharing with the ministry my goals and one of them is that i want to be an elite member~ hahAz=)

well.. being an elite is not about.. being better then the rest or the best among all. but i believe being an elite is an totally different area of serving God in security and there's a differnet focus in it. the reason why we were chosen is not because we're the best, but because we're available and committed to the ministry.

bro chongkeng constantly reminded us to guard our hearts, and i believe there's a reason for him to keep repeating that to us=) i feel that he's afraid that pride might swallow us up when we start to serve in elites because everyone has that impression that elites are the best among the best and to be an elite isn't easy.

i guess its really an area God's moulding me hard=)

i just feel so blessed to have zhaowei as a really close brother in Christ. problems we face are almost similar and the thoughts that we have are usually similar.

like what Sister Cynthia says, we're probably placed together by God to encourage one another..

hMm... i'm still quite amazed by what happened last night, during cellgroup meeting.

during worship, the Holy Spirit showed me so many stuffs about the purpose of emerge conference. He showed me the burden of Pastor Kong and why he's doing all these things. He pratically transported me into the mind of Pastor Kong.

perhaps thats why i felt the burden after Pastor Kong laid hands on me? hEhz=P

i wondered why the Holy Spirit was showing me all these, but i soon realized that there's a purpose and reason behind it. the Holy Spirit showed me this person in the cellgroup and wanted me to tell him what He says.

after cellgroup, i shared with that person what the Holy Spirit has told me and the words came like a mighty river. i never felt so good sharing and encouraging someone and i felt as though i was prophesing.

praise the Lord for such an encounter!!

its certainly great to move in the Spirit and its definitely something that i always want to go through. but there's always a price to pay in something like this. God doesn't just use any tom dick or harry, but He's looking for one that's willing and discliplined.

i wouldn't say that i'm the most willing person and the most discliplined person in the cellgroup, but i still thank God for using me to do His works. the joy of the Lord shall be my strength!!

sometimes when things don't go our way, God looks at our character. how do we handle the situation and how do we deal with it. if we choose the wrong way, how is God going to trust you in His riches?

if you're always filled with a doubting mind, looking for faults in other people yet having a huge log in your own eye, how is God going to trust you too?

its great to worship and to linger in His presence. but we cannot remain at our comfort zones! we got to step out in faith, so that the Holy Spirit WILL be able to lead us to greater heights! if we're not even willing to move out of our comfort zone, how is the Holy Spirit going to mould us and change us for Christ?

a Christian starts to die when he/she is not growing. lets NOT be a dead fish, but lets be like the salmon, that swims upstream.

All I Need Is You, Lord.

my fone died on me yesterday.

was informed that all my contacts maybe erased, so if you're my friend, please message my HP and indicate who you are=)

Christ.

the things we do for Him is out of fear and love or simply just for the sake of doing it?

serving God is great. but serving God with the wrong desires would lead to the wrong paths in life and thus leading to destruction. sometimes we may feel that we're doing things with love, but do we actually realize that its becoming a routine than out of love and fear?

serving with Godly fear and love WILL never become a routine.

as we serve God, we learn invaluable lessons from Him. He shows us different situations and we adapt to it. but some people serve God with what they are comfortable in.

its always not about being comfortable in a ministry, but its always about what you want to learn in that ministry and why. if you're unable to answer that simple question, it means that you're not prepared to join that ministry!

to join a ministry, we first must have a vision. a dream of where we want to stand and how we can serve Him better. its not about joining a ministry that you like or you're comfortable in.

we always have to stretch our capacity and we must not stay in our comfort zone. the moment we start to stay in our comfort zone, we become stagment. once we're stagment, we're unable to grow to what God wants us to be.

dont let fear cripple your heart. God is able to take away all fears because perfect love casts out all fears.

emerge conference 2005, last day.

the final results are out and for the secondary school cluster, south clusters are the winners and JC/CI took the other category.

i'm quite shocked that JC/CI managed to win the overall champion, defeating powerhouses like NTU and SIM/SMU.

anyway, Ngee Ann Poly got quite a good standing of 5th=)

it was a day of celebrations with loads of prize giving and performances. i was serving, but didn't hold onto any comm sets, thus i was able to enjoy the service without any distractions and without doing much stuffs.

Pastor Kong preached about the Holy Spirit, about how important the Holy Spirit is in our everyday walk with God. though there were parts that were repeated, the message is still very revelational and impacting.

this year's emerge conference is very inspiring. its about living our life to the fullest for Jesus, not busy in ministry, but waiting upon the Lord.

like what Pastor Kong said, after we end emerge conference, there would be a longing in our hearts. i'm starting to feel that longing because for the past few months, we have been meeting up so frequently to train for POS.

suddenly its all over and our lives are back to "normal". though there's a different purpose now, i still feel weird knowing that we're not meeting up tomorrow to go church or somewhere together.

Pastor Kong reminded us to keep that longing in our hearts, to remember this wonderful event, our experiences and never to lose it. but most of all, to allow this conference change our lives, not just to inspire, but to transform each and every single one of us.

Spiritual Hunger, the Holy Spirit. these are some of the things Pastor Kong shared.

God uses those who are hungry and thirsty for Him. the Holy Spirit anoints those that seek His face and those whose hearts are set on Jesus. those that are humble, God lifts them up. but those that are proud, God resists them.

we need the Holy Spirit everyday; He has the power to do great things.

-

i think this year's emerge conference showed me how much i strayed off the basic foundations. its always about seeking His face and loving His works. Christianity is not a religion, but its a belief, its love. if i don't love His words, works, what i'm doing now is just purely religious duties.

wouldn't it be sad one day, if we go up to Heaven and when we stand infront of the pearly gates, St. Peter says that our name is not in the book of life.

i kinda figured out that i've been quite unfaithful in areas of my life, but God has been very faithful to me. how to expect God to use me when i'm unfaithful in the small things that i do!?

Christ = love. if there's no love flowing out of our hearts, its dead religious works.

i do not want to be like those people who burn out after a period of time. i want to be an everlasting light for Jesus, shining in the dark, guiding those that are lost. i may not be the best, or the most anointed. but what i know is that i serve a great God, with NO limitations!!

its back to the basics.

emerge conference 2005.

different focus, different revelations, but the same presence of God.

this year, emerge conference has a totally different feeling for me. this time, i'm serving in ministry and it sure feels different. last year, i was able to focus without much distractions. but this time, i've to stretch myself and focus on serving and getting ministered on.

it seems that the main message about this year's emerge conference is about back to the basics. back to the heart of worship, the spiritually hunger in us and evanglistic messages.

this year, i feel stretched by God as the tests He placed in my path is really challenging and most of the time, i've been sacrificing praises to Him. when times are really bad, i chose to trust Him and He blessed me greatly=)

being involved in parade of schools is expensive. i think i've spent almost all my money just on POS alone, the transport and food, costumes and some other stuffs. but as i gave, He provided for my meals. my friends, shuling especially, blessed me with meals everyday.

when i was weak, He sent people to encourage me and strengthen my faith.

if i didn't realize all these are happening, i would have thought that i did these with my own strength. but i do know that all things are possible because of the grace of God. my mind has been playing tricks with me, telling me things that aren't godly and righteous.

its really difficult trying to discern the truth because its just a fine line.

felt burdens in my heart after pastor laid hands on me. i'm still unable to discern it, but i guess like what charis says, the more i seek Him, the more He would reveal to me.

well. great conference... are you learning something?

praise the Lord, with all my heart and my soul =)

thank God i didn't have to serve in security today. lifted up all my excessive baggage and placed them on the altar. though it was hard to focus, i tried and kept praying; i endured and by the grace of God, i brokethrough =)

service was fantastic. Pastor Kong preached about being an influence in the marketplace, changing the cities for Jesus, His kingdom. being current with the soceity, but not influenced by the soceity, but bringing restoration!!

we're to restore, not destroy.

had POS training at blk661 and we kept drilling on our timings. praise God! though it was tiring, it's really fruitful and during our final rehearsal in church later, we managed to deliver most of the stunts and it was really quite a sight.

everything flowed and clicked together, even Pastor Sun said that our tosses are nice and she likes our costume!! praise God!!

it felt really good after the rehearsal, knowing that we did well and there wasn't much hipcups. everyone's morale went sky rocketing and we couldn't stop cheering~ glory to God!! He's the One that provided strength and coordination!!

tuesday is the final battle! i'm excited about the actual performance and i just can imagine the atmosphere that charges everyone up and everything we do would be met by cheering. woah... i can't wait =)

praise the Lord!!!!!

choices.

choices we make will also bring responsibilites. sometimes we make the wrong choices and regret. the "if only" mentality comes up and you start blaming yourself in everything. sometimes its purely our fault, but we deny it.

stepping into the shoes of others would help in understanding the situation. but before we can step into the shoes of others, we have to be meek. being meek is not easy and its probably one of the toughest fruits to bear. when we're scolded, our defense system activates and we would think of excuses to cover up our mistakes. denying our mistakes is always the easy way out, but we gain nothing out of it.

only when we quieten down and step into the shoes of others, then would we get their intentions.

whats done cannot be undone, whats of the past cannot be reversed.

a lesson learnt cannot be forgotten.

it takes -

a spark to start a fire.
a second difference to decide winner.
a misunderstanding to breakup a relationship.
a step of faith to venture into the unknown.
a hello to start a conversion.
a bye to end a conversion.
a blink of an eye to miss miracles.
a finger to point the direction.
a step to move on.

a simple act of faith for a Man to stay on the cross.

our journey with Christ can be like this. all it takes is just something we need to do and God will do the rest. if we want fire, we get the gas and the matchsticks. do you lay hands on your stove and say, "in Jesus' name, i command you to burn!" ?

if no one were to step out and lead, everyone would be like lost sheeps, bleching and panicking. in times like this, things may happen and if we're not prepared, we might just lose something precious to us.

i've my fairshare of gaining and losing. but as much as i gain, i do not want to lose them. losing something precious is very painful. do you want to wait till you lose something, then regret it? if i'm given the choice, i would gladly turn back time and explain things clearly. i would prevent more people from being hurt, be it emotionally or physically.

but i do not have the power for that to happen. all these things happen for a reason. God has placed experiences in us for a reason, and thats to share. God gives us choices everyday in our lives, choices that we have to make that will determine the next choice we make.

screw up the first choice, the rest of the day would be tough. but it doesn't mean that there's no turning back. God is able to restore and we continue from where we stopped. from here, choices have to be made.

if i've made a choice to do something, do i give up halfway because its tough? no! its almost like breaking your promise to God! whatever things we do, we do it for Jesus and if we were to do it half heartedly or halfway, it doesn't bring glory to His name.

our life is determined by the choices we make. make the right choice everyday; listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

haven been blogging much. i guess its just because i've been doing the same routine everyday - training.

was down with a shoulder strain and it hurt badly on monday. the moment sam loaded into the bases, my shoulders felt the strain and i couldnt feel the strength to toss her up. when we had to catch her, it would be another painful stretch on my shoulders and i still have to resist her.

felt better today as we didn't train much for 2 days, but drilled on our timing and formation.

i learnt something quite interesting during my IS class today. we shouldnt judge by looking at the behaviour, but on the intention.

our intention maybe good, but we do not know how to put it across, thus we may cause hurt. if its not properly protrayed, the receiver may receive it wrongly and there wouldn't be proper communication. in order to understand someone, we got to know what they are their thoughts; we must help them open up their mind and expand the choices.

speech makes up 7% of communication, 93% of communication is by our body language.

went to church for prayer meeting and i served. wasn't assigned a position, but was given a radioset and told that i'll be on free and easy, just do whatever i want~ loLz=P so i stood at the doors and participated in the prayer meeting.

during the prayer meeting, my stomach was aching badly. it was so painful to the extend that i felt like vomiting so that i may feel better=/

its the first time i serve for short hours and the first time i felt so relaxed serving.

headed straight to training after praying meeting and due to shortage of people, we did the timings again and improved on our spirit in. we're becoming more and more like magnum force!! hAhaz~! i think that it would be fantastic if we carry their spirit throughout the performance.

headed for supper and had a great time fellowshipping with them. shared experiences, sang songs and ate prata!! loLz=P

God's really faithful to me. i've been faithfully serving in security ministry and doors are opening up for me in the ministry like never before. its almost confirmed that i'll be H1 during emerge conference, and most likely i'll start my elites training 2 weeks from now, during my off day; thats if bro michael wants it=P

thank God for so many open doors and favor time and time again. but its not the time to get big headed, but all the more i have to humble myself and serve more because thats what a leader is for. Jesus came to this world not to be served, but serve.

i believe as God promotes me, i grow to the next level of spirituality and i'll face new problems, difficulties and challenges. i'll start to notice flaws i never did, according to the Holy Spirit, and i'll learn to depend more on God than my own strength.

i believe i'll have an encounter with God and it will change my life completely.

is it just me alone or everyone's feeling it too?

things don't seem to be going smooth and more and more things are happening around me. indirectly, i feel a little affected and insecure. its almost like a cloud of doubts in my mind and before i do anything, i've to clear them.

how am i going to show a confident look when i'm insecure myself? when i show that i'm insecure, more people around me get insecure. all it takes is just one fall and you pull back at every slight miscomfort. getting over confident is something i've to take precaution, all it takes is just one crack.

when things go down, our defenses go down too, thus allowing the devil to attack our mind, injecting negative thoughts and draining us of our energy. faith leaks and if not properly managed, we may even breakdown. if we do not rush to our Source, we burn out and eventually hurt ourselves Spiritually.

sometimes we drag things a little too long when we could have rush towards God for strength, shelter and security. sometimes we may even depend on people too much, thus building our altar on them. usually man disappoints, but God doesn't. man can't be always there for us, but only God can always be there for us.

He's our Creator and only He truely knows how to deal and handle us. only He knows our fullest potential and the level we're performing at. we may seek comfort at man because we want to hear things that are pleasing to our ears, but God knows better than men.

guard my heart, guard my mind. emotional affection must be watched over carefully and my actions speak louder then words. through contact, there's bound to be affection. if body language is misinterepted, it would result in complicated things that would tangle everything.

sometimes i just wish that God will appear right before me and i'll be able to get the solutions instantly. but God isn't looking for wimps, but He's looking for people with great character, attitude and the right desires.

i shall not fall under emotional breakdown, but i shall rise up and take on the challenge. i shall not allow my Spirit to break, but i shall allow my Spirit to be moulded. if i do not start now, i might just miss out on my destiny.

i don't know how to start, but i just want to blog my thoughts.

second day of school and its not getting any better, even though howie, yanren and hamzah would be in the same class as i am. class was so boring today, i chatted in MSN and watched howie play spider solitare.

we did some assignment thingy that the lecturer explained. didn't understand a single bit, but when aiysah taught us, everything became so crystal clear~

headed down to the NP-CHC orientation at LT58. it was quite fun and Bro KimHock shared a really inspirational vision to everyone. having a simple vision, lifestyle and to follow the church's vision because thats wise.

was given a caregroup to look after, with various of zones combined together. though the strength today isn't very big, 7 in fact, i still thank God for this chance to lead a group of people. a chance to be moulded.

POS training was quite fruitful too. the new timings for frog leap is rather successful and the other stunts are almost there, just that we still have to work on our basics. we can't allow small cracks to appear on the actual day, because it will eventually lead to a huge crack.

i was bathing, suddenly i just felt that i haven been fruitful in my personal walk with God. God is able to give me loads of things, and usually He dangles them infront of me. but when i allow pride to come in, the things would be taken away from me.

its almost like God's testing me of my faithfulness in Him. if i would give Him all the glory and if i would humble myself. when He takes things away, its almost like He's testing me of my patience. submitting to God everyday, taking away my pride and humbling myself. knowing that without God, i'm nothing and only through Him, i achieve things.

i can be a high flyer, yet get burnt out in the end because i don't have a focus in life. if God is my focus in life, i give Him all the glory and praise. He's the one that gave me the grace to perform and He's the one that gave me the anointing. without God, everything is hard and with God, nothing is impossible=)

doing things for the sake of doing it and doing it for the glory of God makes huge differences. doing things for the sake of it is not my 100% effort, but if i'm doing things for the glory of God, the Spirit of Excellence would manifest.

sometimes we're so busy that Jesus passes us by and the sad thing is that we don't even realize it. we can be so busy with our lives that we overlook things that are of basic foundations. when Jesus passes us by, we miss the chance for the reignition of our Spirit.

ultimately, God is the only one.