on the way home earlier, suddenly i felt a "urge" to start a Spiritual Diary.

in the beginning, i wanted a private and handwritten diary, but i know that it won't last as i prefer typing then writing, so i decided to use this blog as my Spiritual Diary too. it wouldn't hurt reading about my spiritual life right? =P

i guess i'll be very frank about my situations and its gonna be shocking~ well, only thru this way, we would be able to grow stronger=)

for the past WEEKS, or should i say, MONTHS, my prayer life is amazingly bad. personal devotion time with God was spent on the bed, feeling extremely comfortable and simply repeating through what i usually say.

most of the time, i'll just pray for the same stuffs over and over again. in a sense, i'm asking God for the same stuffs over and over again, but now i feel that it lacks the conviction, and perhaps thats the reason why there are so many needs that i've yet received.

in comparision, my prayer life used to be extremely exciting. praying for friends that the Holy Spirit led me to and when things do really happen the way i prayed, it increases my faith level.

thinking back now, i wished that i didn't stop praying. prayer is definately one of the most inportant lifestyles as a Christian. it definately unlocks doors, dreams and visions from God and in our Spirit, receive it.

the fire in me, isn't raging hot, but its tamed. it seems that there's a valve that i can control, and there would be days when i'm on fire, but some other days, i'm totally tired. with this kind of valve-controlled fire, its almost like being double minded for Christ.

when i was on fire, i had dreams and visions. but now, all i can do is to hold on TIGHTLY to those dreams and visions and keep working hard to achieve them. this could get extremely tiring for a period of time, but unless you have the anointing of God, you would never get refreshed in the Spirit.

after saying so much, i do really want to grow stronger in Christ and desire to be a leader=)