Finances. Its either you possess them, or they possess you.

Pastor taught in the past the our finances can limit us. It can stop us from doing things for the kingdom of God. For example, you want to study in SOT, but you do not have the finances to study in SOT. You can be fervent, excited and ready for SOT, but your finances limits you.

Sigh.

Such is my plight now. Spoke to my mom just now regarding signing up for SOT. She disapproves of me signing up for SOT now and she would rather me start working first before enrolling for SOT.

Of cos i explained to her that by the time i start working, it would be quite impossible to enroll in SOT. Then came the finances limiter. Though she said that she'll leave it for me to decide, but she's definitely against the idea.

I'm hoping to meet Lars and Karen in church soon. Maybe i can ask them if i can work in their company again. I wouldn't mind earning half of what i earned, since I'll only start work after SOT hours. As long as i know that I'll have a stable income to pay off the school fees and everyday expenses, i wouldn't mind.

Faith is the confidence in God's words and being. His word says that He'll provide for me and whatever I've sowed, I'll reap. I'll reap a blessing so much that even my storehouse is unable to contain it. I may not see it happening now, but i know that someday, this promise will come to past for me and I'll be able to have financial freedom!

I've to see it, before i can have it. I'm seeing myself living with financial freedom, with the ability to bless the needy, the ability to give to the kingdom of God. But, I'll first have to start small. I've to be faithful in the little things, in my tithes and offerings. Faithful in being a good steward of my finances. Then God would be able to give me even more.

What do i want to do after the army? Definitely SOT first. If not, when?

What do i want to be in the future? I want to be a church staff, a zone supervisor, a pastoral staff. I feel that other than theses, I've no interests in the other jobs. I do not want to be some office guy, sitting in front of a computer, sending out emails trying to do my job.

I want a fulfilling life. I want to make a difference in the lives of the people around me. I want to help people realize their potential, i want go overseas for mission trips, to preach the gospel to the lost and see the sick being healed, lost being saved.

I know I'll be very happy doing all these things for the kingdom of God, because i believe that i was chosen. I may have done a lot of wrong things, but God's grace is still upon my life and I've seen so many wonderful things happening to me. God is so good and He still continues to bless in all areas of my life.

But right now, I'm struggling. I know i should take that step of faith and sign up for SOT. But I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid that I'm unable to get the finances required, afraid that at the end of SOT, I'll be penniless without anywhere to go.

Faith - Forsaking All I Trust Him.
Faith - Having the CONFIDENCE in His promises.
Faith - Believing that God will do the unbelievable.
Faith - Taking that first step, into the realm of the unknown.

Father! Help me step out of my comfort zone, into the realm of the unknown!!