Think God is really quite humorous sometimes. Mentored a youth and the things he shared sounds very similar to what I have experienced, and am experiencing.

I feel like I'm speaking to myself as I'm encouraging him.

Relationship is like flying a kite. You got to release the string, then the kite would be able to fly higher, on its own. Yet there will be times when the string has to be reeled in, to prevent the kite from falling.

But, unlike flying kites, the act of releasing sometimes is difficult. Tons and tons of questions, fears and doubts. Sometimes I'm afraid of losing someone special, sometimes I feel I suffocated the person. Or sometimes I'm just afraid that the person thinks I'm giving up.

So complicated. But I do enjoy the moments when the kite is flying on its own and the tension on the string is just right. Just wish that it stays longer that way.

Or perhaps, I am just thinking too much again. Maybe there's no kite at the end of the string.
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Random Reflections

I stared at this screen for a good 15 minutes. There are many things that I can blog about, but I just can't translate it to words, or I simply cannot put it up here online.

In general, going through everyday life and experiencing its ups and downs is kinda settling in now. Work brings joy, sometimes it brings total misery. Joy because some students really do cheer me up and they are a joy to teach, encourage and inspire. However, a handful would bring misery, though its because of very understandable circumstances, it's still a challenge and difficulty to handle.

I am extremely thankful for my workplace, my colleagues and my bosses. I feel that I am really very blessed and favored in my workplace. Thank God for all that He has done, and placing me in such a wonderful environment. Though there are times when I wished things were done in a different way, but I suppose it's for the best for everyone. 

I am extremely grateful to my Cellgroup's constant support and encouragement. I'm not the most patient guy around and I can be quite demanding at times, but their love for me and constant encouragements really keeps me going on. Many of them has played a huge role in my life, in my transformation, and they are they reason why E506 exists. 

I am far from perfection, laden with fears and insecurities. I feel ashamed to even feel that way and sometimes I just find myself feeding my mind the wrong emotions and thoughts. However friends around me have been supportive and understanding; sometimes much to my surprise. 

There are many things I could have done better, could have thought more positively and could have been a little more secure in myself and not think too much, or be hyper-sensitive. Sometimes I really wonder why do I even feel and think that way. I suppose this is a mountain, a lion or a bear for me to overcome, for me to slay and for me to have victory over. 

There are days when I feel I have gained a foothold in the mountain. But there are also times when I feel overwhelmed by the sheer size of the mountain. 

Sometimes I just wish things were easier and I have someone who I could trust, depend and share with, just someone who's there for me and with me. But I suppose that's not the way to go as I should be trusting, depending and leaning on God.. Learning and always putting Him first in my life and allowing Him to shape my character.

I suppose the lesson learned here is that my identity is built in Christ, not on another person. And till the day I learn to build my identity in Christ.. I'll probably struggle repeatedly.

It's not just about knowing that I am a Child of God. But maybe the very reason and purpose of my existence? I feel like I am still waiting to enter the promised land, the place where it is flowing with milk and honey, where everyday is a joy and fulfilling. 

I feel I am wrestling, struggling and also wandering; and wondering.

Today for CG, I was reminded. Why do I do what I want to do? Is it for personal glory or is it for the glory of God? May my heart be purified and may my desires be cleansed. It's not about setting out to be the biggest, greatest and strongest.. But being one who makes a difference in someone else's life. One who brings God into a godless equation and one who puts others before himself.

Sometimes its difficult, it hurts and it may not be worth it. But I'd want to be there, one that readily accepts, understands and being physically present. 

I want to serve, to make a difference in someone's life.

Ryan Cabrera - True (Video) Album Version

Scrolled through tumblr and someone posted this song up. Fondly remembered listening to this song a lot when I was younger.

Sometimes when words cannot express what we feel, a song comes along and fills in all the gap

Rod Stewart - Sailing [HQ]

Timeless classic.

I had an interview with a counsellor and he shared that he had a client who has been seeing him for 12 years. Immediately, I asked if there were changes or improvements in the person's life.

I was quite surprised at this reply.

He said, "No. In this case, its more of managing the issue. Its like a chronic issue, something like diabetes."

Somehow, I always had the impression that people's lives will definitely turn better after seeking help. I've never really heard or realised that sometimes its about managing the issue.

Quite amazed at that 'revelation' as it shows me that it does not mean that once you have broke-through, it would not come back and haunt you.

I've been really bugged about an issue in my life and it has really been bothering me. I thought everything was fine, until I was being tested in that area again.

It feels like a bondage, feels like a mental thing that weighs me down. I've no idea how to overcome it, except to do something that takes my mind off the issue, and in the process, hope that I enjoy doing it. Else, I'll just sink deeper.

And the last time this happened, I simply isolated my emotions and shut down, as much as I could. Escapism? A new word I learned today.

So today, when the counsellor mentioned about managing the issue, immediately I felt that's what I needed to do.

Yea. Face up to it, manage my emotions and allow God to fix me up.
If only I had more time with the counsellor. I'd probably ask him a lot of questions.

And the really strange thing... I felt really comfortable during the interview. Yes, I had interview jitters, but I felt comfortable to be honest, to share what I really felt and think.

And that's the best feeling I ever felt this few weeks.
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Many thoughts. Little words


Can't express how I feel.

A Dog's Purpose?(from a 6-year-old)

.Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa , and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker 's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know why.''

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said,''People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?'' The Six-year-old continued,

''Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.''

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.




There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right. Think good thoughts for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of LIFE...Getting back up is LIVING...


Have a great life.
by: Ultima National Resources, LLC

Channing Tatum "The Vow" Guitar Solo

The Vow - Channing Tatum play guitar scene

Best quality I could find in youtube. This scene made me pick up my guitar and play it again. Awesome movie too.

Maybe, shouldn't, wouldn't, couldn't and haven't But maybe its not what I think, feel and see.

Despite all, I find myself returning. Was I being wise in doing that? Sometimes it feels like I am running away, hiding and masking it all.

Yet finding it difficult.

David Choi - Won't Even Start - Official Music Video - Wong Fu Productions

Nice concept of the video :)

Isaiah 41

1 Keep silence before Me, O coastlands, Keep silence before Me, O coastlands, And let the people renew their strength! Let them come near, then let them speak; Let us come near together for judgment. 2 Who raised up one from the east? Who in righteousness called him to His feet? Who gave the nations before him, And made him rule over kings? Who gave them as the dust to his sword, As driven stubble to his bow? 3 Who pursued them, and passed safely By the way that he had not gone with his feet? 4 Who has performed and done it, Calling the generations from the beginning? I, the Lord, am the first; And with the last I am He. 5 The coastlands saw it and feared, The ends of the earth were afraid; They drew near and came. 6 Everyone helped his neighbor, And said to his brother, Be of good courage! 7 So the craftsman encouraged the goldsmith; He who smooths with the hammer inspired him who strikes the anvil, Saying, It is ready for the soldering; Then he fastened it with pegs, That it might not totter. 8 But you, Israel, are My servant, Jacob whom I have chosen, The descendants of Abraham My friend. 9  You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, And called from its farthest regions, And said to you, You are My servant, I have chosen you and have not cast you away: 10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. 11 Behold, all those who were incensed against you Shall be ashamed and disgraced; They shall be as nothing, And those who strive with you shall perish. 12 You shall seek them and not find them Those who contended with you. Those who war against you Shall be as nothing, As a nonexistent thing. 13 For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, Fear not, I will help you. 14 Fear not, you worm Jacob, You men of Israel! I will help you, says the Lord And your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. 15 Behold, I will make you into a new threshing sledge with sharp teeth; You shall thresh the mountains and beat them small, And make the hills like chaff. 16 You shall winnow them, the wind shall carry them away, And the whirlwind shall scatter them; You shall rejoice in the Lord, And glory in the Holy One of Israel. 17 The poor and needy seek water, but there is none, Their tongues fail for thirst. I, the Lord, will hear them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them. 18 I will open rivers in desolate heights, And fountains in the midst of the valleys; I will make the wilderness a pool of water, And the dry land springs of water. 19 I will plant in the wilderness the cedar and the acacia tree, The myrtle and the oil tree; I will set in the desert the cypress tree and the pine And the box tree together, 20 That they may see and know, And consider and understand together, That the hand of the Lord has done this, And the Holy One of Israel has created it.

Read it using Pastor Phil's voice.
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Romans 8:24-25

For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

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Psalm 71

1 O LORD, I have come to you for protection;
don’t let me be disgraced.2 Save me and rescue me,
for you do what is right.
Turn your ear to listen to me,
and set me free.3 Be my rock of safety
where I can always hide.
Give the order to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.4 My God, rescue me from the power of the wicked,
from the clutches of cruel oppressors.5 O Lord, you alone are my hope.
I’ve trusted you, O LORD, from childhood.6 Yes, you have been with me from birth;
from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.
No wonder I am always praising you!7 My life is an example to many,
because you have been my strength and protection.8 That is why I can never stop praising you;
I declare your glory all day long.9 And now, in my old age, don’t set me aside.
Don’t abandon me when my strength is failing.10 For my enemies are whispering against me.
They are plotting together to kill me.11 They say, “God has abandoned him.
Let’s go and get him,
for no one will help him now.”12 O God, don’t stay away.
My God, please hurry to help me.13 Bring disgrace and destruction on my accusers.
Humiliate and shame those who want to harm me.14 But I will keep on hoping for your help;
I will praise you more and more.15 I will tell everyone about your righteousness.
All day long I will proclaim your saving power,
though I am not skilled with words.t16 I will praise your mighty deeds, O Sovereign LORD.
I will tell everyone that you alone are just.17 O God, you have taught me from my earliest childhood,
and I constantly tell others about the wonderful things you do.18 Now that I am old and gray,
do not abandon me, O God.
Let me proclaim your power to this new generation,
your mighty miracles to all who come after me.19 Your righteousness, O God, reaches to the highest heavens.
You have done such wonderful things.
Who can compare with you, O God?20 You have allowed me to suffer much hardship,
but you will restore me to life again
and lift me up from the depths of the earth.21 You will restore me to even greater honor
and comfort me once again.22 Then I will praise you with music on the harp,
because you are faithful to your promises, O my God.
I will sing praises to you with a lyre,
O Holy One of Israel.23 I will shout for joy and sing your praises,
for you have ransomed me.24 I will tell about your righteous deeds
all day long,
for everyone who tried to hurt me
has been shamed and humiliated.

On days like this, I wonder what can be done to feel better. Random, nonsensical thoughts are just running through my head. 

Don't be a generation of complainers, instead, be a generation that speaks encouragement and blessings at all times.

Be the ones that inspire and aspires to be a good example for many to follow

Be the ones that speak wisely, not with idle words. As out of the heart, the mouth speaks. Guarding our hearts, not allowing worldly attitudes creep into it.

Be the ones that speak life, not with spikes and curses. There's power in our spoken word and this power can build, as much as it can destroy.

Be the ones that make a change, not whining and pinning that there's nothing you can do.

Can one man make a difference? Yes. One at a time.
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Just finished reading this book called "Heaven is for Real" a true account of a little boy, who got really sick, went to heaven during the surgery and then came back to Earth and in random moments, or triggered, shares about it.

I was totally amazed by the book. Words cannot describe what I feel, but what I do know is that its amazing in Heaven.

The boy's child-like faith, constant reminder of how much Jesus loves us and how huge God is never fails to touch my heart. Every chapter is amazing and the encounters are beyond imagination.

Throughout the book, I am constantly amazed by the child-like faith the little boy had. The author narrates him usually speaking with a matter of fact tone, with all sincerity and honesty.

I started to evaluate my own life.

After being a Christian for donkey years, have I turned into a professional Christian? One that knows scriptures and promises of Jesus, yet without encounters and personal experiences with the Most High.

I faintly remember praying the most child-like faith prayers when I was a baby Christian.. "Gentle breeze as I sleep through e night" "Stop the rain as I'm leaving for sch, continue e rain only when I am back in shelter"

And these prayers were answered for me, not just once, but many times! Maybe most people would say, "That's good, God is building up your faith to pray and to believe in Him." But I guess its also because of the child-like faith that I had, absolutely believing that God will hear and answer my prayers.

When was the last time I prayed and God answered?

Has my relationship with God become an act of works? Do I do it because I have to... Or because I want to?

When in a close relationship with someone, they are constantly in your thoughts and in your speech. They are the first people that you turn to, no matter what you feel.

Has God been sidelined in my life? Am I still fiercely guarding the spot that God rightfully remains in my life, or have I allowed other things to take over Him?

So many questions, thoughts and feelings from a simple short book.
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Can mental strength be linked to discipline?

Just witnessed a bunch of X-Country Runners from Nan Hua High School pushing the chairs back to their original places as they are leaving the cafe in MacRitchie Reservoir.

Seems like a rare phenomena as its something not common in my school.

Not sure if there's a direct correlation between mental strength and discipline, but I feel that students who are mentally stronger, tend to be able to disciplined.

Somewhat, I realized when I was in e Army, I was able to push myself easily, beating my timings whenever I ran and pushing my body to the limits. It was all linked to the discipline of my mind and body.

However after I'm out of the Army, the mind and body is not as disciplined as before and I do not push myself as hard as before. My mental strength has depleted and my discipline to run just as much, just as fast, has waned.

Discipline is also telling yourself to do what you do not like to do, and you would need a fair bit of mental strength to do that. Its like what the bible says, to crucify our flesh.

How do we develop mental strength? Probably the only way I know how is positive self talk, and the bible is full of promises for us to cling onto, that speaks faith into us.

And I guess to a certain extend, sometimes there's a need to be ruthless on our flesh. In context of running, if I do not push myself and run beyond my comfort zone, I will never improve. However, it is extremely painful to run and stretch the distance, loads of negative self talk, pain and exhaustion comes to the mind.

But it is usually because of that one, or a few, reasons that keeps someone going, pushing beyond the limits.

Perhaps without discipline, I believe one is able to achieve much. But with discipline, the right mental motives and faith as the backbone, one is able to achieve much more.
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Snap out of it.

Its not about how I feel.

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Bible teaches us not to judge, lest we get judged ourselves.

At a course I attended recently, I realized that many of the thoughts, things that I say are actually very judgmental! Based on what I see, I "judged" the person. It may be a reflection of what the person is feeling, but it's not 100% accurate.

That experience got me thinking very hard. I understand that the verse means that we do not condemn another Christian who might have sinned, but we lovingly educate the Christian, in hope of leading the person to repentance. Closely related to discipleship, it is extremely important, however if its not done properly, relationships would be broken and it would lead to disappointments and hurts.

I also realized that sometimes my perspective of someone do affect the way I communicate to that person and it is potentially dangerous as I am not demonstrating love in my actions.

As the younger generations are getting better education and unlimited access on the Internet, it is increasingly difficult to contain and shape them to be of a certain "pattern" and "style". Everyone's into expressing and being themselves.

The danger lies when I become "judgmental" in my point of view and feel that maybe that person is not ready because they did not display a certain "trait". I also believe that if I really want to, I would be able to find flaws in that person, just to justify myself.

But that's being totally judgmental isn't it?


What was going on in the person's mind? What caused them to do what they did? How did they arrive at the decision?

My guess is that sometimes we do not even know the answers to the questions above, and we jump into conclusion. Many times, I have done it myself, often accusing students for not paying attention or being extremely lazy. But usually after probing, its usually linked with something that affected their morale, their emotional well-being.

No matter what, nobody likes to be judged wrongly.