usually, there would be a debrief after an event.

i shall do a debrief - 2003 - 2004.

i shall do something kinda straight foward.

my church gave us a goals card at the beginning of the year. there are 8 categories to show a clearer picture of what we need and what we want. of cause, i had my copy and i filled it up.

Spiritual Life - Invite family members for church service, do my quiet time every night, read the bible once a week.

well, its just the first category and i don't feel like going on. loLz=)

i've invited my mom for Pastor John Avanizi's service, but she rejected my invitation because she feels that she's too old for stuffs like that.

do my quiet time every night - loLz~ i guess most of you know that i do my quiet time the wrong way. people lay on their bellys, to show their respect, but i lay on my back=X

read the bible once a week - i used to read my bible in buses, mrts, lrts, anywhere you can think of. till recently, i've stopped doing it~ i WILL and want to continue doing that =)

Family & Friends - Have no enemies, treat all equal.

i guess i've managed to fulfill this. unless you hate me and you're reading my blog now, let me know. you'll receive my "wraith" =)

Health - to be more toned, build up my size.

heh~ i wrote this because i desired to be in Security ministry and i can't imagine being a super small sized security personnal in church. well, for a period of time, i was really toned and i went from M to L. but during my exam and holiday period, i stopped visiting the gym and thus lost loads of weight.

not forgetting i had cough for 3 months, deprived myself of basketball too.

Emotional, Psychological Growth - control my anger, sadness. be daring to do things.

basically, sometimes i feel that i'm a short tempered person. thats a flaw of mine and when i'm not in the mood, i'll really snap. don't believe? ask my sister=)

daring to do things. i wonder why i wrote that back then, but i guess its about sharing my faith to everyone, especially my family members. i've managed to share a little with my sister and mom, but not my dad. hMmm...=/

Education, Intellectual, Professional - do well in my modules, at least 3 Bs!!

WOAH! you know the results=/

Material - Save money, at least $50 every week.

this is something i do every week - deposit 100 bucks into my bank account.
this is something i do everyday - draw 10 bucks everyday.
this is something i do when there's a special event - draw more money.
this is what happens at the end of the week - nothing left in my bank account.

Leisure - rest more.

i had more then enough rest=) thank God.

Creativity - not filled up.

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even though the goals card is nicely stuck onto my wall, i've noticed that i took 5 minutes to look for my card, not knowing that its nicely stuck onto my wall.

looking through all these stuffs now, i realised that i've fallen short of my goals and definitely, my goals had changed after a period of time.

a quick run through of events in 2004.

these are not in order.

Singapore Youth Flying Club - this is a topic that i always try to avoid. i was a excited youth that received a letter from YFC, indicating that i've been selected to go through their training. not knowing anything abouy flying, i attended lectures at YFC.

it was tiring, but i went on because everyone was encouraging me.

on my second flight, i made a huge screw up that made me cry on the way home. it ain't really easy trying to control a plane while having someone shouting at your ear constantly because of a minor error.

it was the first time i controlled a plane and i was told to hold straight position. well, naturally the plane moved up and down due to a change of pressure and the instructor adjusted the level. so my task was to adjust it back.

being my first time doing that, i did the best that i could. but it wasn't up to the instructor's expections. he was constantly shouting at me that i suddenly cracked.

i asked him, "isn't that normal for the plane to change direction slightly because of changes in the wind direction?" that question caused a huge uproar and the instructor threatened to land the plane because i was questioning him and he felt that i'm not capable of flying.

upon landing, after millions of apologizes from me, i had a de-brief in his room. in the beginning, i had fairly good grades. then, he started deducting marks due to bad performance, bad attitude, bad flying skills and bad preparation.

so i ended up FAILING the stupid second flight. first ever case in YFC?

i really wanted to smack that idiot in his face and remind him that he's no longer flying for RSAF because he can't make it. but, i didn't lah~ left his small little pathetic office and closed the door behind me, gently.

as i had to return my flight file to the office, i took a peek in it and read the contents. i was really pissed off by what he wrote in it. he made something so SMALL seem so huge, like as if i really wanted to argue with him up in the air.

i didn't quit just like that.

i went back for more lectures. but whenever i'm scheduled to fly, i would have something on or i wasn't free. so i lagged behind, by a huge margin. soon, the travelling distance started to toil on me and i HATED travelling to that place.

decided to quit, after loads of consideration.

Pastor Mike Connel's Deliverance - when i heard of his arrival to CHC, i was really excited. i knew that he's a great preacher and he does deliverance. i've yet to see deliverance and i really wanted to experience it myself. so, i found myself praying and asking God to show me that power of His.

heh. come sunday, along with my friend, weihan, we walked into CHC compounds, not knowing that i'll be experiencing God's power, first hand.

Pastor Mike called out for me, and i took 10 minutes to turn up.

its really amazing how Pastor Mike pin-pointed me out. the exact location of my seat and my problems. no other person, cept God could do that=)

it was really scary when Pastor Mike started calling me in the beginning. REALLY scary. i was seated ALL the way at the back of the auditorium and when i walked ALL the way to the front, every pair of eyes were STARING at me.

not forgetting those who were watching online, probably millions.

somehow, most of my friends were seated at the sides and attended that service. so i had LOADS of encouragement after service. somehow~ i bumped into them at the lobby and 1 by 1, they all said that they are proud of me~ loLz..

it really isn't something to be proud of. anyway, i told myself that God answered my prayers and i should be happy =)

Emerge Conference - this is probably the highlight of 2004. loads of dreams and visions burst into my spiritually life and each time i prayed, these dreams and visions kept coming back. everything was so real.

one of the visions i saw was - myself, in suit, serving God in Security.

some other visions, in brief -

myself, leading a cellgroup. then, it grew to a stadium and i was standing behind a pulpit. gave the altarcall and thousands responded.

leading a group of super excited and on fire youths in my cellgroup.

becoming a pastor in CHC.

to serve God all my life, impact lives, change lives and preach the gospel to the ends of the earth.

not forgetting Parade Of Schools, where i met many other CHC-NP friends. really nice memories and great friends i've made there=) its still amazing how we all glued in such a short time and even more amazing how my friends had impacted me to rise up.

i guess these are the events that left a deep mark in my life...

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sometimes i feel that God is really preparing me for something great=X i'm really not trying to boast and i know that God can change the tables anytime He likes. but this is what i realised...

since i was an infant, i was put in a church. if i wasn't wrong, its st joseph. well, though its just a day care centre, i'm sure that was the beginning of everything for me.

in primary school, my friends, who were christians, kept telling me about the gospel, told me that evolution IS a total BULLSHIT and Jesus Christ is our Lord. of course i didn't understand back then, but i've always listened to them, wondering why my parents don't go church, but a temple.

day 1 of secondary school, this sister came up to me and asked me to join their church activities. my mom agreed and allowed me to go. over there, we played games and learnt about the gospel. but i went only for a few times as i was alone there.

even a basketball team that i joined belongs to a church~ lolz=)

then, charmaine came into my life when i was in sec 4. she did the same like any other christian friends would do. she shared the gospel, invited me to church. i took 2 years to accept Christ into my life=)

these 20 years, i may not have seen much. but i've always felt extremely blessed.

i've really made choices in my life that really determines if i'll be in the light or dark. it seems that there's always a voice inside me, telling me do always do good and there's a God.

there's always a voice, reminding me that my outward attitude will determine my altitude and there's always this voice inside me, telling me to keep quiet when i should be.

when i stepped into CHC for the first time in year 2000. i felt like as if i'm at home. though the people around me were speaking in tongues, i didn't really feel uncomfortable and the presence of God filled me up. its really a wonderful feeling.

the messages that i listened to always prepared me for something that is to come. sometimes, my friends would be discouraged in that area we just learnt and i'm able to encourage them by sharing what i learnt.

sometimes its on a personal level and it would bring me through the most difficult times of the year.

i've been through times when i totally do not know whats going on, but God's discernment came upon me and i begin to discern, sharing with my friend what God had just shown me about his/her situation.

dreams and visions filled me up and i worked towards them.

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now that the year is drawing to an end. new resolutions, dreams and visions will resurface but there's one thing that will continue to burn stronger.

my passion for Christ.