seated somewhere, there is someone who thinks that the world can provide for you. you think that you can take the easy way out and achieve what God has called you to. let me tell you now that its impossible and STOP thinking of the easy way out!!

woah. when Pastor Ulf said that, i was shocked.

right, maybe i'm just being OVER sensitive, but i felt as though Pastor was referring to me and YES, i do have thoughts of taking the easy way out. hEh.. looks like its all dashed and i've to take the narrow path=)

well, PRAISE THE LORD!!

nothing's impossible with Jesus in me!! wOohOo!!

Pastor Ulf preached about our calling in God.

Pastor shared about many stuffs regarding our calling in God and many times, he spoke directly into me. i felt as though God's reminding me of the things He told me and asked me if i want to fulfill my calling in Christ.

something that God placed in me quite sometime ago was confirmed by Pastor Ulf. our calling can be taken and given to someone else, this happens when we "throw" our calling away. when Pastor shared that phrase, i started to PANIC. i've strayed a little off my calling and i really wouldn't want to throw my calling away.

i'm not a perfect person and there are many areas in my life that isn't bringing glory to God. my results, my temper and my pride. these are some of the areas in my life that i need to change. but without the hand of God, i'm unable to change and i REALLY need the hand of God.

i'm not an angel with wings that blesses people but i'm just a servant of God who He uses for His kingdom!! i've got to have THAT stuck in my mind for as long as i live because PRIDE is the factor that will destroy me.

i had a great start in my Christian walk and this is just the beginning of something beautiful. i do NOT want to make the wrong choice in my life and suffer. its not how we start, but how we end it!

i definitely want to end my life the way God intended it to be and i also want to have an intimate relationship with God.

intimate relationship with God - this phrase has been stuck in my mind since day 1 of 2005. the first book i bought was drawing near and its about intimacy with God. i never knew that our church would move towards intimacy with God and when SO many pastors start preaching about it, i got the "message" the Holy Spirit wants me to do.

BUT, i've been disobedient.

but from now on, regardless if i feel His presence at home, I'LL PRESS ON AND PRESS IN. because God's with me and He will NEVER leave me. there would be times when i feel like shit, but that wouldn't stop me because i know that after the moulding process, its a period of waiting.

after all the trials, testings, i know that i'm a different person, moulded and changed by God for His glory and MORE trials and testings WILL come my way BECAUSE God is MOULDING ME!! He wants change me from the INSIDE and He's interested in my character.

He wants to see what would i do during these times and if i fall, He sends His angels to come and care for me and sets me off again. i WILL never fail the testings of God because He never tests us to fail us, but He tests us to PASS us!!

being self-centred wouldn't bring us anywhere either. God is looking for a heart thats pure and after His heart. when He finds a person like that, blessed is that person. at the end of the day, that person maybe called the friend of God.

Jesus calls us His brothers and sisters. we now have Jesus, whom died on the cross for our sins, and rose again. with Jesus praying and interceding for us, do you want to disappoint Him?! God's looking down at us, like how a father looks at his baby. He loves us so much that He coaxes us with so many things.

but we've taken Him for granted, some have even used God for personal glories.

we got to keep our heart's intention checked and aligned with the word of God. its always easy to talk the talk, but its hard to walk the talk.

as much as i can type, if my lifestyle doesnt match my words, these words wouldn't make an impact, these words wouldn't even stir up an ant. if i'm called to be a pastor, then i've got to live like one and work to be like one!!

NO short cuts!!