my greatest desire NOW is to sleep! YET i can't sleep!! ARGH!! how annoying can that be!?

am i going through some test again? some test from God, testing if i would trust Him? why is it that i always fall repeatingly and seemingly cry out to Him, and i fall again!? its tough! its hard! i really need a breakthrough else i'm stuck!!

i don't feel the presence of God and i'm annoyed!!

how i wish that tomorrow isn't Sunday and i don't have to wake up early, so that i can share my thoughts with someone... but.. there isn't that someone!!

someone who gives me encouragement and advices. someone who points me to the right direction and leads me.

i believe all the Spiritual people are saying that Jesus is the person i'm looking for. i know that He's the one i run to, but i also NEED a friend who i can talk to face to face!! a person who makes me feel comfortable sharing with him/her, a person who's able to take away the blues and add colours into my life!

i just wish that everything wouldn't be like that now. no doubt its good going through tests, but where are the angels that He promised when we cry out to Him!? the angels that would care for us?

argh!! i just hate these doubts.

sometimes i just feel so darn tired of everything i'm doing and i need God's refreshing touch. i wouldn't want to repeat the silly mistakes i make for the rest of my life!!

i feel SO stuck.

i feel like checking my heart and SEE whats INSIDE my heart. i wanna know if God is IN my heart or in my mind.

heart. mind.

they seem to work the same way, but out of the heart flows love, out of the mind, flows methods.

i feel like as though i'm leading a lifeless life everyday! a shell that knows Jesus is my saviour, knows the lyrics to the best worship songs and knows what God promises us.

i don't want to be that shell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i want a life!! a life in CHRIST!!

God is definitely moulding me hard and i'm feeling it.

please keep me by Your side and never let me go!! please allow me to dwell in Your presence and never lose it!! please forgive me of all my wrong-doings and cleanse me!! please SOFTEN my heart and open it up so that Your love can fill it!!

heart of worship.

its all about You Jesus...

i'll bring You more than a song..... You're looking into my heart..... into my heart....

i guess i need to spend more time... with God... to find His peace...

thank You Father for Your peace in me...