well, it was a beautiful day today, and i enjoyed myself.

bumped into samantha at the bus stop, was quite shocked to see her again~ walked to classes and my favourite teacher, Mr. Desmond Wee was already in class. he knew that i'm taking part in the rock and roll thingy with him, and he comfirmed with me my attendance afterwards. asked him about my IAC project too, and he gave me the green light to approach my cadet scouts to bring them out to a outing. he suggested that we bring the boys to sugai buloh, a place where even we never been before, so that we would learn something new too=) sounds really cool and fun.

went for KAP for lunch with darren, then i met samantha. she brought me to veneque, a place where there's nice icecream and stuffs? a little like starbucks? and we ate ice cream there. very nice atmosphere and we chatted about whatever that came into our mind. sent her home afterwards, then went back to school for WAA lessons.

during the lesson, there was a student who kept going against everyone. i felt frustrated that he was doing that, and i waited for his turn to give a speech. i didn't really attack much, but i just asked him a simple question. but i got singled out by my tutor, as that wasn't approprate.

met herman and Mr. D for the dance thingy. yonglin joined us too~ and we were taught the basic steps of the dance. it's a 6 count step and i got the hang of it pretty fast. danced with a partner, got into a little trouble cause my timing was a little too slow~ need more practise=P

took a cab down to church cause i was getting a little late. it was overflowing, and i had to go to the overflow room at level 4. didn't get to meet samantha because she's at b4~ she bought bread for me, and that was my dinner=/

service today was rather impacting for me. i felt rather guilty when pastor Ulf talked about caring for others, and stuffs like that. it was a sermon that preaches us to think like Jesus, who cared, blessed and touched so many people.

met samantha after service, and i happily gobbled down the bread that she bought for me. sent her home afterwards and took a bus home.

reached home, as usual, i felt the "coldness" in the air. showered, came out and my sister lectured me for coming home late. it's not like i want to be home late but i was in church. i have been coming back late for the past 3 nights, make it 1 more on friday night. sigh, at that moment of time, i really felt extremely discouraged. i wanted to invite you guys for service tomorrow, so that you all would know what i go through in church, just to let you guys know. but, after what happened, i just lost the guts to even talk about church. i know that everyone's worried and stuffs like that, but why can't you all think of it this way - at least i DO NOT go clubbing or DRINKING with my friends.

i tried to reach home earlier, sometimes i take cab directly from church. but i still get scolded. there would be days when i join charmaine and her sister for supper. thats why sometimes i return home extremely late.

but, do you guys know? no? cause i'm quiet at home. that doesn't mean that i don't like you guys or i just don't wanna chat with you all. it's simply i got really nothing to chat about with you all! chat about school? it would end like this - you better study hard in school and don't fall asleep in class. blahblahblah. it becomes a lecturing lesson and i would listen to stuffs that i used to hear everyday. yah, i know that it's for my good, so i keep quiet and listen. the ideal time to chat with the family is during dinner time, that i agree. for these few days, i was in church, and i missed dinner with the family. what can i do? thousands of people cramp into CHC just to listen to him preach, and how can i miss out on this chance? he doesn't come everyday, every year, during a specific time only. i guess i'm a person who never does things half heartedly. i'm not a half hearted Christian who goes to church, when i feel like it, or when i'm free.

i'll give a little detail about my normal service. we queue up in church at around 7 plus? the actual service starts at 8pm and ends at 10pm. we would have a small fellowship that may last for 15 minutes? before we head for the buses. the buses would leave at 10.45, and reach the LRT station at around 11.15pm. unless i drive, i can reach home by 10.45. but i don't drive and the only way home, is the public transport.

i'm not trying to rebel here or whatsoever. just that i feel that i should let you know, and this is the ONLY medium that i can get my message across. i can't imagine chatting with you face to face about sensitive topics like these, cause my tone would prolly just get harsh, and we would start shouting at each other faces. i guess by the time you finish reading this, you would be extremely frustrated at me cause of my selfish thoughts? and point of views. hope that you would bear with me, and understand. being a Christian, there's commitment and we serve Him. that's something that we all believe in, and it would be hard if i try to answer all your whys. but, if you do have whys in your mind, ask me the whys, and i'll answer them.