Lesson today was special. How to describe that feeling in words?

Didn't feel anything special, but it was something special in the spiritual realm.

Yielding, receiving and openness. Very important keys to having a word from Him. Breakthrough may just come like that. And if you miss it, you really miss it.

I know what God wants me to do. Spirit is indeed extremely willing, but my flesh is weak. Seldom experience this but I actually fell asleep while praying!! Not at 10.00pm!! I was quite shocked when I realized I dozed off.

Tried again afterwards and it happened again. Man! The weird thing is that I don't even feel sleepy now! But the moment I close my eyes and pray, BAM! It hits me hard.

But now as I'm typing this blog, I have a better understanding of why it might have happened. Hmm.

Not gonna give up so easily!!

Class today was amazing.

Truely, the end of a matter is always greater then the beginnings.

I didn't quite experience science and wonders, visions and dreams or visitations of angels. But I simply had this encounter with God, this assurance from Him, and i think it's amazing for me.

While we were worshipping Jesus, I just felt God saying this, "Joel, I've anointed you." Then I felt this weight on my shoulders. My arms started to ache, even though I didn't raise up my arms fully. It was probably just raised above my waist level.

Then the weight on my shoulders started to feel heavier.

Before that, there were so many miracles that happened! Legs grew to equal length, arms, backaches, neckaches! SO MANY!! Simply amazing man.

Maybe I can start praying and believing that God can stretch my legs by another 5cm! =P

To think of it, we're left with 3 months of SOT. It's ending too fast!! Week after week is flying by too fast and I really don't want to stop SOT'ing so soon. Gotta receive as much as I can, and start activating it!!

What Kuek Si Jun, Joel Means

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you. You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

-

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Words of Affirmation
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Words of Affirmation:		9
Quality Time:		8
Physical Touch:		5
Acts of Service:		4
Receiving Gifts:		4

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Come on! Spend quality time with me, edifying me!! Isn't that the BEST combination you can ever wish for!? Haha!

Service is so very good, you'll feel like making this prayer, "God, send more trials and tribulations! So that many others can be blessed through me!"

Haha!!

So encouraged.

He went through everything, so that I can experience the breakthrough.

Wow.

AS I COME INTO YOUR PRESENCE
PAST THE GATES OF PRAISE
INTO YOUR SANCTUARY
TILL WE'RE STANDING FACE TO FACE
I LOOK UPON YOUR COUNTENANCE
I SEE THE FULLNESS OF YOUR GRACE
I CAN ONLY BOW DOWN AND SAY

YOU ARE AWESOME IN THIS PLACE
MIGHTY GOD
YOU ARE AWESOME IN THIS PLACE
ABBA FATHER
YOU ARE WORTHY OF OUR PRAISE
TO YOU OUR LIVES WE RAISE
YOU ARE AWESOME IN THIS PLACE
MIGHTY GOD

Dashboard Confessional - Stolen (Original Version) MV

'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty. – Zech 4:6

The truth is that I'm nothing without His anointing, His Spirit.

My gifts, talents and abilities, are laid on the foot of the cross. Clothe me with Your Righteousness and fill me with Your Spirit.

I'm just a vessel, for God.

The Holy Spirit is indeed my Guide. He has brought illumination into this dimly lit room of mine.

Not by strength, nor by might. But by the Spirit of the Lord.

Relevation!

Why God wants us to make specific prayers? Its not as though He doesn't know right? Haha!

But why God wants us to make specific prayers?

Because when we pray, He listens and says, "Okie! Done deal!" When we pray specific prayers! He listens to all the specific requirements and begins to form it in His mind, then VIOLA! Given.

But when we pray general prayers, He listens and says, "So what do you want?"

Haha!! So lets all pray specific prayers and God will say, "OKIE! DONE DEAL!"

Therapy to my soul.

After CG, i sent Saunders to his workplace, which happens to be 15 minutes away from my house. Decided to walk home from his workplace, just to pray in the spirit and spend sometime away from the hustle of life.

So I turned into Dairy Farm Road and walked towards Cashew Road. In that area, the houses were either semi-Ds or bungalows.

Immediately, I was captivated by the tranquility of the estate. As I looked at the houses, everyone of them were unique in their ways and extremely beautiful. Each house spoke has their unique story, background and atmosphere.

As I walked around the estate, I felt my soul relax, away from the rush of the city, sounds of rushing cars and people.

So as I walked through the estate, I started to tell God which house I like, what cars I'll drive and the kind of home that I want to build. A home that has the presence of God, the peace of God and a place that glorifies God.

Maybe a home like this?

=)

Before I'm a leader, I'm a Christian.



Take everything away, will I still go back to church?



Yes.

Blessed.

I'm blessed and highly favored of God.

Finding joy in the midst of trials and testings. No matter what the future testings will be, I believe with all my heart that I can pull thru.

'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty.

05 May 2008.

This date marks the end of my 1 year 10 months of National Service, and the beginning of my Operational Readiness.

In layman term, this is the day where many NSFs await eagerly, to collect their Pink IC and not wear the green uniform for a long period of time.

Mixed emotions consumed me as I walked out of my camp, as a civilian.

I felt happy as I've finished serving my National Service. I've done the best of my ability, been thru hell and back several times and felt like giving up on many occasions.

I still remember vividly on 06 July 2006, I handed over my Pink IC to two 3SGs. I was told that the green card I'm getting is my 11B and it's my IC from today on.

Then, a last wave to my parents and sister after we had lunch together in this place where I'll start to have my meals at for the next 9 weeks.

Soon afterwards, my head felt cool because of the $2 haircut provided by the army.

But I chose not to look back from that moment on.

I've already decided to do my best and hopefully get a place in OCS, to be an officer of the SAF. I've heard many stories about the army, about how Christians backslide because of the environment and how tough the training were.

I decided to think differently and adopt a positive attitude towards training. I know that it's during this period of time, I'll learn to rely on the Holy Spirit more than ever before. I know that this is the place where I can shine for God because of what I've in me.

Everyday, I find myself being thrust into situations. Do I really have to give my best? Do I really desire to be an officer? Do I think I really stand a chance? Do I really want to go cellgroup and service after booking out from camp?

Decisions after decisions. Spirit is willing, but my body is weak.

But i thank God for His grace. Each and every decision I made in favor of God crucified my selfish desires. Each time I say no to the devil, God is glorified. Each time I give my best effort, God is exalted. Each time I go to church and cellgroup, God gives me strength.

After 9 weeks, it was announced that I'm the Platoon Best Trainee.

Not by my strength, but by His grace.

Into OCS I went, as happy as I can be. Into this wing that many people fear.

ALPHA WING. A Motto that says, "Above, Beyond As One" A vision that says, "To create the S3F - Shiong, Shiok but Safe and Fun Environment" A Wing that's MAD, a Wing that's Making-A-Difference.

These were some of the punchline thrown to us. I was challenged and rose up to the occasion.

Yup. There were times when I felt like giving up, but something in me stirred up and urged me to carry on. There were times when I felt inadequate, but something in me rose up and took ownership of the situation.

9 months of officership training ended, with my Commissioning Parade on 09 June 2007 as an Armour Officer.

Into the 8th Brigade I went, as a Reconnaissance Officer. One of the most prestigious vocation in the Army.

I had real man under me. Sons of other parents that I'm responsible of. Everyone of them are precious and it's my duty to take care of them. I'm their Platoon Commander and friend. I'm the one that commands them during trainings and get commanded at during soccer games.

As I look back now, I've no regrets with the decisions I made.

I hope I've made a difference in their lives and I hope that they'll always remember what I've always reminded them.

Don't underestimate the power of positive thinking.

If I can do it, so can you.

Pastor Kong said that our dreams and visions are in the realm of our minds.

So I had a revelation when he said that. If dreams and visions are in the realm of our minds, does that mean that Godly thoughts in your mind can be considered as dreams and visions?

Thoughts that don't usually come during normal times, but they fill your mind when you're worshipping Jesus. Thoughts that you have never thought of or even imagined about.

Its so supernaturnal, its amazing.

One of the best joy someone can receive is knowing that he's restored and accepted back into the kingdom of God.

Though this process may take a long time, I'm determined to break through and meet Him in the Holy of Hollies.

Isn't God just so amazing? when I'm faithless, He remains faithful to me. Its like the parable of the lost son, I ran away from Him into the wilderness. Day and night, God waits for me to return. When I finally return, He restores me back into position. Though I may not feel worthy, but He says its worth it.

I can never hide from Him. He's omnipotent, omniscient. He KNOWS everything that I've done! Do you know what's everything? It's EVERY SINGLE THING! Tell me now, how do you hide from Him?

The first step towards God is always so difficult. But after taking that first step, you find strength, joy and fulfillment. You begin to realize how much you may have missed out. Though this is not the end of the testings, but I believe with a broken and contrite Spirit, He's able to lead me out of the valleys.

Today is the day of my salvation. Today is the day of my re-dedication to the Lord Jesus Christ. Today is the beginning of everlasting eternity reigning as King and Priest with my Father God!

HALLELUJAH!

-

oh yah. i saw ASIA in my Spirit. ASIA! NORTHEAST ASIA! I saw in my mind, Asia, a continent, in front of me. I asked for more, I saw Northeast Asia. I asked for more, I heard the word teach. I heard myself say, Father, I'll teach Your word. I'll teach your word in Asia, in Northeast Asia!

I've made that prayer, its commited between me and God. It's written on His palm, that I'll teach His word. I'll minister to His people.

BY FAITH! I RECEIVE! WOOHOO!

They say things happen in SOT. I believe that's an understatement. Things don't just happen in SOT.

It takes loads of faith, then the things happen in SOT.

Felt God smiling at me again today. He has been smiling at me for two days.

It would start like this -

As we're all worshipping in His presence, I would enter into this place and there's only God and me in it. So I'll tell God everything thats in my mind. Things like full-time ministry, provision and santification.

Then I can feel Him smiling at me. It feels so........ comfortable, friendly and warm.

Yesterday, I felt Him say, all these that you've asked for, I've given. Receive it in your spirit.

Today, I saw myself in a vision. A picture of me preaching from a pulpit. Then thoughts of salvations, healing and anointing raced across my mind. Wasn't sure if that was my thoughts or God's thoughts, but I received it in my spirit.

When the Holy Spirit comes, some people feel electricity on their palms or heat running through them. I felt this warm heat on my upper back, something that I felt when I was much younger in Christ.

Definitely the Holy Spirit.

I think this is the problem with me. I'm too logical! I'm in need of serious work in my emotions. Pray with me, that I'll be touched in my emotions, that I'll be free to cry or laugh in His presence.

There are no formulas in seeking God. But a pure heart will see Him.

Heb 11:1,3

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.

God spoke, something happened in the realm of the spiritual and it became visible in the realm of the physical.

Believing that you have it in the spirit though not of the realm of the physical. Because you have spoke about it, it WILL come to existence when you believe. In the spiritual realm, angels are already preparing for the day for your spoken word to manifest.

Believing is not just knowing. It's the psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise to be true.

So it's not just knowing and accepting it. Its getting it sink into our spirits, knowing that it will come to past.

Interesting things had happened recently. Things that showed the favor, blessings and grace of God.

I don't know what to expect in the months ahead of me, but I believe it's going to be good. Attitudes will be made right, impurities will be removed and fruits of the Spirit will be developed.

My mom managed to "catch" a baby parrot, with her bare hands. In fact, the parrot hopped onto her hands after she held out her hand in front of it. Quite interesting eh? Then the parrot stayed in her palm and she brought it home.

Now it's like some crazy lunatic bird, running left and right of the cage and randomly screeching. Heh.

Just want to thank God for something that happened yesterday. I was on duty in camp last night, so I rest in my office when Caleb came to my office. He wanted to pray for me, and vice versa. Of cause I was more than glad to do so, but we fellowshipped a little before we prayed for one another.

I think it's just amazing how God will even move in the office. His peace just came and filled the office. There was a change of atmosphere the moment we started praying and it really didn't feel like we were praying in the office.

Truly when two or three are gathered in His name, there He is.

I'm really encouraged by Caleb's hunger, desire and fire for God. He's praying and fasting for directions in his life after his National Service. Such a fine young man, but already thinking like a matured son of God.

Challenged! Haha!

Well. God has His ways of revealing His plans.

http://aboutjoel.blogspot.com/2005/01/im-so-bored-i-can-click-ie-million.html

Ignore the fact that i had pastors driving me to church and stuffs. Haha! But, WOW! 3 years ago, God has already desired for me to enroll into SOT, even when I'm still in the army.

Well, my application was technically rejected, by my parents. But i kept assuring her that I'll be fine, I'll take up part-time jobs just to pay off the school fees!

And I'm definitely hoping to get the model student, because that would mean that I've really made a difference in the lives of many people! Plus the all expenses paid for trip to Israel. Haha!

But YAH! WOW!

Logan the Sky Angel Cowboy - CBN Spot

My laptop is officially dead! Why must it be damaged now!? Sigh. Gotta get it fixed before assignments and projects are given to us, else I've to write everything neatly on A4 paper.

So I am now somewhere blogging away...

SOT Orientation was a BLAST! I think I could have laughed till I developed 8 pacs, face cramps and burst blood vessels.

Barely slept for 6 hours and my alarm went off. Jumped out of bed, showered and headed straight to JW. HEAVY TRAFFIC!! Totally forgot about the morning traffic madness and I was hysterically checking my watch. Gotta go through much more Civilian Conversion Course. =D

Decided to take the train instead at Chinese Garden, towards Boon Lay. Finally reached church and there were so many excited people gathering at the lobby, waiting for registration to start.

Got hold of my lanyard, couldn't stop smiling.

We had about 1 hour to chill in the freezing auditorium. Read thru the students' manual excitingly. Even though 99% of the contents were rules and regulations, punishments we may face and other potentially depressing stuffs, it was surprising that I read it with much joy. HAHA!

Pastor Derek came and shared a word with us. Edifying word from a chapter. Just a simple chapter and it exludes so much strength, wisdom and challenge.

GAMES!

Gathered together in my team, TEAM 21, most of us were from the same zone. We've a Youth Pastor, Church Staff and CGL from another church. Anointed eh?

Anyway, I'm really challenged by my team mates. Their attitudes were amazing. SUPER sporting, fun loving and out going, I felt like a backdrop with them. Really challenged to step out and simply enjoy myself without much fears.

Thank God for His grace! Amazingly, after the first station, I found myself screaming and shouting like some 3 year old kid after being awarded with an ice cream. Haha!

Our team did extremely well for all the stations, completed on time, invested right and managed to get back returns. We got 3th overall for the games, which means $20 attributes voucher! $20!! Thats A LOT! You can like buy some materials, or lighten the burden of several super expensive materials.

Some of the stations were creative. Gotta dip our heads in a pail and fill up a plastic bottle within 10 minutes. Before dipping our heads, we gotta pass a rubberband with a toothpick held by our teeth.

Another station, eating CHILLI PADIS and GREEN ONES TOO! urgh. Thank God only 3 persons are required to do that. So the rest simply shouted directions to them, which I gladly did so. =X

Aiyah. If you want to know more, join SOT next year. ;)

I heard that those in classes now had holy laughter during worship. >.< But it's okie! 5 months of pure intensive discipleship from Him and definitely more of Him!!

Woah! Just came back from my zone's overnight cycling event!!

Really quite an experience. I was appointed to be last man, together with Alan. Basically we cycled from East Coast to Bedok, to Tampines, Paris Ris and finally Changi. Supposed to finish at Changi, but we reached a tad too early, thus we were challenged to cycle back to East Coast from Changi.

That LONGGGGG stretch of road beside the Changi Airport was extremely boring. I dozed off several times and even crashed once because i fell asleep while riding. But thank God I landed on the grass patch and I had no injuries whatsoever.

Anyway, I kinda woke up after that crash and continued cycling per normal till we reached this place and MJ came and pick us up. It was probably the best moment of my life, having to sit in the lorry, not having to cycle all the way back to ECP. Haha!

But, I still enjoyed myself, cycling casually and enjoying the breeze.

Limited time left for me to rest, gotta serve at Expo today!! 4pm!! >.<

Oh yah. Saw some transexuals in Changi. They really look pretty, just that its all manufactured. Heh.

Extraordinary results!

We took our IPPT test earlier and I'm really happy with the results of my company..!

We had about 16 GOLD, and 13 SILVER achieved. Only 3 didn't manage to get anything, but I believe that with constant training and hard work, they'll be able to achieve at least a silver as well.

Super encouraged by the effort put in by my soldiers. Some of them just missing a few seconds to achieve gold, but i believe they'll press on and achieve it in the coming year.

This IPPT also marked my swan song in the company. Most of them will be involved in training and I won't be able to join them. Bittersweet emotions, but I believe Andy and Dion will be able to bring them up another level of achievements. 

-

SOT Orientation this monday! I really can't believe that I'm starting school so soon. Seems like a long time ago when I was hesitant if I should sign up for SOT. I'm glad I made this choice and even though it maybe tough for the coming months, I believe that GOD will provide for me and He'll see me thru this year!

Connect Group PM was so refreshing. Was reminded of several things when Desmond prayed for me. Remembered the fervency, my attitudes and mentality when I received Christ in the beginning. Guess certain issues corrupted my mindset and soul. BUT, I believe that all these will change because GOD's gonna do something AMAZING in my life!

He'll change me inside out, outside in. He'll anoint me to overcome difficulties, trials and tribulations. He'll smilingly give me loads of problems, so that I'll learn to rely on His strength and He'll show me the way to victory.

Now, I've to make that decision. To remain open to His discipleship, teachings and word. Most of all, to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, to develop my relationship with GOD and maintain my spiritual disciplines. 

I am Singapore's, self declared, No.1 Fan of Taylor Swift.

Our Song Official Video By Taylor Swift

dumdeedeedum.

tim mcgraw by taylor swift

*melts*

TAYLOR SWIFT: TEARDROPS ON MY GUITAR

can't get sick of her.

Blessed.

I've been so blessed recently. 

Mom gave me $150 in total, spanning 3 weeks in total. A mysterious person that signed off as God blessed me with $50.

-

When I'm in need, You heard and You gave. 

When I asked, You heard and You gave.

You said, "Be of no fear, for I AM with you." "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened upon you."

All these promises that You gave may not have been fulfilled instantly, but in accordance to Your timing.

You said, "Look upon Me and I'll lift you up."

"Yes Lord." I said. "Take away these excess baggage, I just want to be that Joel once again."

"No. I've anointed you to do greater things for Me. You're not a nobody, but you're someone in the kingdom of Heaven. You'll provide for your family, you'll live in prosperity and you'll be a blessing to everyone." 

"A bruised reed I will not break, and a smoldering wick I will not snuff out, till I lead justice to victory." 

I think apple's really smart.

Launching their Safari (Internet Explorer) in Microsoft platforms, i can't help but download and use it.

Its smooth, links easily accessed and its an eye candy.

I think all the cool people should download and use it!

Taylor Swift - Picture to Burn [ Official Music Video ]

As usual. Super duper gorgeous

oh yah.

My links page looks pathetic. Send me your links and I'll link you up!

Taylor Swift has a new single!

Picture to Burn. Angst song, but it's nice! (because its by taylor swift) As usual, she looks extremely drop dead gorgeous. I'll probably turn into an apple if I ever get to meet her.

Check it out in YouTube! I tried uploading it in here, but it just wouldn't work.

Irritating.

Been eons since I wrote here in this space.

Feel that there's too many words here, lacking pictures! But I don't possess any camera phones or digital cameras, thus the lack of pictures.

Updates!

Easter has been fantastic. Though it was really tiring, but its all worth it! Did something different just now. I was the Wii station master at expo. The fun thing about that is that i get to see overexcited adults trying to box each other, or self entertained kids cheering whenever their bowling balls hit the pins.

Not to mention the numeral times I had to teach young and old on operating the Wii and gameplay.

I made several new friends too! All aged 12 and under.

Super cute kids standing shyly behind the crowd, wanting to play, but afraid to ask. But the moment you hand them the consoles, their facial expressions change. SUPER CUTE.

But then again, this happens only when they're happy. Heh.

School Of Theology! I checked with my ZS and he has confirmed that I've gotten into SOT! Praise God!! But the opening in church office isn't open for me as I lack the qualifications. Well, it's okie! I can still work at other places and I believe God will provide for me!!

So far, I've about 3-4 friends that signed up for SOT this year. Hopefully we'll get to work together and do great works for Him!!

To think of it, its just 2 weeks away from the first day of SOT. Wow!! Really got not much time left!! Got to look for a job to start working after I ORD!! Else i'll have to walk to church every morning and fast every single day. Haha!

Hello Mas Selamat,

Watch out.

I'm here to find you.

Cheerios
2LT Joel Kuek

Got to make decisions!

Decisions that will ultimately affect my destiny, my future and my calling in God.

Dilemna.

I'm feeling ultimately ultra-ly blessed right now.

Firstly, I had a zone prayer meeting yesterday and after the PM, i asked my ZS if he's rushing down to Jurong West. So he asked me to join him and travel down to Jurong with him, but he has to go back to Suntec first.

No problem with me, I felt.

In the cab, I asked if there's any vacancy in church office as I'm looking for a part-time job after I ORD. He said that there's a vacancy and its half related to what I did in polytechnic. Wasn't much details, but he'll check it out for me. Best thing is that I can work full-time for that job, while studying in SOT!

Then, he also mentioned that he'll find out if I'm applicable for sponsorship in SOT!!

Next in line, Pastor preached about being a servant. This time, he pitched for full-time ministry workers! My heart leaped in joy when he mentioned that and asked those who feels a call to full-time ministry to raise up their hands and he'll pray a special prayer for us. This happened in Jurong.

Rushed down to expo to support the security there..

Pastor shared the same message, but this time, not only did he ask us to raise up our hands, he asked us to stand up and asked those sitting around us to lay hands on us to pray for us! Wow! I'm really glad/blessed that I was asked to replace another security last minute. Don't tell me its coincidental because I believe everything has been planned for by God.

During the process of being prayed for, I felt this burning sensation on my eyes. The entire process of being prayed for, I felt this heat on my eyes and it didnt go off until we stopped praying. I strongly believe that it's the Holy Spirit's anointing and being on my eyes, it should mean something like the Holy Spirit strengthing the vision that God has given to me.

Well, thats my accessment. If you're able to interpret such signs, please let me know=P

So in 1 day, I seem to have gotten confirmation that signing up for SOT is the right thing and the jigsaw puzzle is forming at the right places now. I believe I've taken the right step, a step of faith into the unknown, trusting God that He'll provide for me.

Now I'm praying that these doors will remain open and more doors will open up for me to transform into what God wants me to be!

Praise the Lord!

Praise the LORD!

Let's hope for the best in the upcoming seasons! HAHA!!

SOT, HERE I COME!

I need more of You!!

Finding myself losing self control more and more. Especially when it comes to dealing with people that I dislike. Not that I hate them, but their actions make me slightly irritated at times. It doesn't help much when I'm related to them.

Though not everyone is sensitive to their surroundings, but everyone MUST learn to be! I'm not someone whom you can make fun of, tease about or joke of. I don't wear a red wig and nose with huge matching shoes. There's always a limit to something.

Whats worst is having this mentality. They can do it to me, but if I do something else, I'll get that, "How can you do that!?" remark. ARGH!!

So what are you trying to tell me? You're better than me? I don't have to prove to you that I'm better or whatever, but your antics are seriously irritating me! Its like telling me that I've a speck in my eye, but you've a log in yours.

Definitely, there's a lot for me to learn as well. I can learn to be much more long suffering, to learn how to love those that's slightly difficult to love. Maybe this is what God wants me to learn. So give me more strength Lord!! before I blow up and rebuke them.

Seriously resisting the temptation to scold them because they're just having fun and probably got overboard. Thats why they must all learn to be sensitive!! Can't expect you to keep smiling at me if I were to keep poking you right!?

So what did I do? Just smiled and kept quiet. SIGH. The meek ones are the strongest. I'm probably far from being strong, but I know that at least I made a right decision earlier and I'm slightly stronger now.

The journey continues and I really hope things will improve, though knowing that this is not the way God works. He sharpens me, with another iron.

>.<

I think I need to change.

Ok. Not I think, i MUST change!

Pastor Ulf taught about fears today for service. Something that's always being mentioned and reminded by many people. But its only today, I finally received something in my spirit, or simply mind.

Consider this for a moment. It would be difficult for you to talk to someone if he frequently shy away from you, or seems just afraid to talk to you. I realized that I've been doing that all these while and its certainly unhealthy.

I should learn to be more confident of myself, carry myself well and learn to speak with confidence. This will not just make me confident of myself, it dispels fears in my life.

I must stop being fearful of speaking up or being outstanding. Fearful of being the odd one out. But of cos, I do not want to appear boastful or prideful. Confidence is something that I carry in my spirit.

Even when situations screams in my face, I've the confidence and composure to make the right decision. I will not allow fear to take place in my decision makings and spoil God's destiny for me.

Its not self denial, thinking that you can handle situations that come your way. But it should come from the assurance that God is always with me and the Holy Spirit is always guiding me.

So when I serve Pastors every week, I should get more comfortable serving them. Things shouldn't remain the same from day 1. There must be growth!! Every week I serve them, there must be growth!!

If not, I'm just a person that walks them up and down every week.

Not that I become friendly with pastors, but I should become more confident whenever I speak to them. I shouldn't be mumbling my replies or look lost whenever I'm expected of something. I shouldn't come to a stage when I just get so tensed up whenever there are important guests.

Embrace the moment and serve with all of my ability!

Time to step out of my comfort zone and stretch my capacity again! Without fear, but faith! Knowing that through all these adversities, God will strengthen me and guide me in His ways!

Kids.

They're so adorable when they're having fun. Smiles on their faces or that gint in their eyes when they're up to something mysterious.

When you tell them something believable, they might just believe you whole heartedly. Probably thats why Jesus once said its easier for a child to enter the kingdom of God.

They simply just believe!

Kids don't even know what's pain when they're enjoying themselves. They can fall countless of times while ice skating, but because its fun and something new, they'll pick themselves up and carry on skating.

Or if they're about to fall, they'll automatically grab onto something. They'll not move unless being led by someone and if they are left alone at a place, they'll move to a place where they feel safe.

If only most Christians were like this too!

Always having that child-like faith in us, we're always hungry for more of God and His word. We absorb whatever the bible says and believes it whole heartedly. Even though we may stumble in our walk with God, we'll pick ourselves up and laugh about it. Then carry on with life loving God even more than before.

I was with my nephews and nieces ice skating at kallang and noticed all these things. Though it might be just a once in a blue moon experience, I guess its more than enough for God wanting to tell me something.

Basically kids really don't have any worries. Who cares about food? Because their parents are gonna pay for their food everyday. Who cares about clothes? Because their parents buy them new clothes.

All kids know and do is to enjoy themselves as much as possible. No matter what it is, it can be very enjoyable for them. From ice skating to dunking a piece of popcorn chicken into pepsi is fun, and they can do it with such great passion!

I'm definitely not asking you not to work and wait for money to drop from heaven. But I guess its the assurance that God will provide because you're His child and being a good Father, He'll definitely give you whatever you want and ask for.

But if you're a spoilt and bad kiddie, would God still pamper you? Probably not as much right? same goes for those spoilt and bad kids that we usually experience once in a while. Didn't you just wish that he/she would just disappear from your sight and stop irritating you? Parents, wouldn't you feel that your child is just a disaster and out of control?

But at the end of the day, your child will still look extremely angelic when he/she falls asleep.

Same goes for our Heavenly Father! Well, I don't think he feel irritated whenever He sees us misbehaving, but I'm quite sure that at the end of the day, God would tell Satan that we're His beloved children and Satan has no dominion over us.

But that doesn't mean that we can remain childish and immatured all our lives. It's cute for a 5 year old girl to give bambi eyes over sweets, but disgusting for a 30 years old lady to do so.

If God has enpowered us with something, He expects us to use it! If not, why would He even give these gifts and talents to us?

As kids, they'll probably not understand what's their gifts and talents. But as grown ups, you should know what're your gifts and talents and you should start learning how to maximize your potential within!

If you do not know, means you're still living in a nut-shell. So its time for you to emerge and breakthrough! Break out of your nut shells and find out about your gifts and talents! It's about time now!

Somebody buy these tops for me?

http://store.soliscompany.com/moclmesatrsh.html & http://store.soliscompany.com/mosatrpomocl.html

You THE Leader!

Yes, YOU!

Amazing book. To think that I almost forgot Sharon brought for me that book years ago for my birthday. Thank God I found it and started reading it. Read it everywhere in my office. I think after a meeting with my boss, and the freedom that he's giving me, I'm so going to convert my office into a place of dreams and visions.

A place where people come and get inspired to achieve great results, and not just that, they envision success and enjoy the fruits of success after putting in hardwork.

I'll challenge my guys to achieve the impossible. Defintely within hardwork's and dedication's range, I'll place in them a vision to not just accomplish the ordinary, but the extraordinary. I'm going to place in them a vision that will last them thru their NS life and hopefully beyond NS life.

Since i'm their 'leader', might as well be one that empower their lives. Then we'll all have a fruitful 2 years of NS life and probably something that we'll never forget.

I think I'll spend majority of tomorrow to plan something life changing for my company.

*excited*

Late post.

Sunday was quite an eventful day. Served in Jurong West as Erick had an urgent job assignment, so I stood in for him. As it was Dr AR Bernard sharing the word with the church, i didn't mind serving an extra day because I get to listen to his sermon.

Missed out majority of his sermon as I was at backstage and there were pretty much movement in and out of the door. But I caught several points at the ending which I thought was very true.

Our character is so important, so is our reputation. If we are known to have good reputation and great attitudes, people would easily believe whatever we share with them. But if I do not have a good reputation and a good attitude, people may not believe whatever I'm sharing with them.

If I'm known to be a person that always lie, would you believe the things that I share with you? But if I'm a person that's proven to be trustworthy, whats the possibility of you doubting my words?

If I had a bad reputation, but I may have a good attitude, people may still judge me for my bad reputation. Things that I've done in the past may become my stumbling block, thus this is the reason why ex convicts find it difficult to adapt into society and some of them fall back into the vice again.

Good reputation but bad attitude? Always too proud to help those around you, snobbish and carries the 'holier than thou' attitude. These people are just building themselves an altar and they worship themselves. There's no God in their lives, but loads of 'ME-GOD'. Though he/she may have an excellence track of reputation records, such attitudes wouldn't attract much people into their lives because they're so self-centred.

So if you've a good reputation and good attitude, people trust your words and people would want to make friends with you because of your great attitude. Maybe they'll even lay down their lives for you if you help them out of a difficult situation. With good reputation, words that you speak carries power and anointing because its proven that you're trustworthy.

Talents vs Character?

Talents maybe good but without good character, basically its junk. If God has given you a talent, use it! Share it with others that may not be as talented as you are. Help those that aren't so talented. God gives you something for a purpose, not for you to indulge in self-admiration.

If God gives you the talent to sing, serve! Sing in the choir or lead praise and worship in CG. Do not just sing for yourself in KBox, basking in the admiration of your friends because they can't stop praising you after every song that you sing.

Some people may argue that they rather be humble and stay low. But I say its wrong as well! Some people are so humble that they're so proud that they're so humble. Its not wrong to accept praises, not wrong to bask in the glory for a moment. But its definitely wrong when people praise you and you keep denying even though you know that you're good. But in order to be humble, you 'reject' the praises.

Why don't you accept the praises and give thanks to God because He's the One that gave you the gift, talent or ability to do exceedingly well!

I think I'm speaking to several people in this post. I do hope that my short explainations do help you a little. But if you would like to prove your POV, you can always contact me and we can have a debate.

=)

Commanding leadership.

A question that burned in my head for the past few days as i thought to myself, "how am i going to command leadership, in my company that's full of sgts and some of them in the company longer than I've been."

Its not just wearing the rank on my shoulders and expecting everyone to respect me. No doubt they've to obey my instructions, but are they doing it with a willing heart or out of no-choiceness?

I thought being nice and everybody's friend would be the key. But soon i realized that there would be some that would step over your head and make a fool out of you. Sometimes you let personal relationships decide who gets the shitty jobs and who gets recognized.

I soon abandoned that choice.

Then I began to adopt a neutral attitude towards everyone. I should treat everyone as equal and set specific people to certain tasks. Knowing his capacity and abilities, I'll assign him tasks equivalent to his ability.

Then they begin complaining of overwhelming amount of work to do and why they're always doing such things.

Classical example of the rich getting richer, the poor getting poorer. Anyway, that's not the main point for this entry.

Based on what would my guys run if I ask them to. If I ask them to do something, will they do it because I said so or because i did so?

Being a leader, I set standards. At the same time, I'm a walking example of how things are to be conducted. If i want them to be neat, I've to be neat myself. If i want their uniforms ironed, mine has to be ironed. Everything I do HAS to be better then what's expected of them.

So if I ask my guys to run faster, I've to run even faster then them.

Something that i learnt during my exercise was that i set the morale and tempo of my troops. If I'm excited, they'll be excited. If I've a nonchalant attitude about things, so will they.

Basically, they'll adopt whatever the leader is carrying.

Of cos, I'm no superman. There'll always be somebody who's fitter, stronger and faster than me. So now, its not how I'm best in everything, but it's how I handle the situation.

I can be a loser and blame everything for the 'defeat'. Or I can be the ultimate winner and learn pointers from the other person. I believe this is what a leader is about. He's not just there to lead others, but he's also there ready to learn from others.

Leaders have always been associated as high flyers, proud snobs and impatient people. Not true! Jesus's a leader in his field of expertise. We don't read in the bible that He goes around ignoring people, insisting that everyone worships Him because He's the Holy One.

Instead, He goes around serving people and wins them over. He goes all over the place, preaching the gospel, healing the sick and performing miracles. So when Jesus asked His disciples to go into the world and preach His word to the lost, His disciples did!

Basically, they did what Jesus did when He was on earth. The disciples preached, healed the sick and performed miracles! Just like what Jesus did! Till today, such things are still happening all over the world.

So can you imagine the impact you'll be able to have, if you were to be like Jesus, going around doing things that you want others to do as well and in that process, impact their lives.

Wow.

Finances. Its either you possess them, or they possess you.

Pastor taught in the past the our finances can limit us. It can stop us from doing things for the kingdom of God. For example, you want to study in SOT, but you do not have the finances to study in SOT. You can be fervent, excited and ready for SOT, but your finances limits you.

Sigh.

Such is my plight now. Spoke to my mom just now regarding signing up for SOT. She disapproves of me signing up for SOT now and she would rather me start working first before enrolling for SOT.

Of cos i explained to her that by the time i start working, it would be quite impossible to enroll in SOT. Then came the finances limiter. Though she said that she'll leave it for me to decide, but she's definitely against the idea.

I'm hoping to meet Lars and Karen in church soon. Maybe i can ask them if i can work in their company again. I wouldn't mind earning half of what i earned, since I'll only start work after SOT hours. As long as i know that I'll have a stable income to pay off the school fees and everyday expenses, i wouldn't mind.

Faith is the confidence in God's words and being. His word says that He'll provide for me and whatever I've sowed, I'll reap. I'll reap a blessing so much that even my storehouse is unable to contain it. I may not see it happening now, but i know that someday, this promise will come to past for me and I'll be able to have financial freedom!

I've to see it, before i can have it. I'm seeing myself living with financial freedom, with the ability to bless the needy, the ability to give to the kingdom of God. But, I'll first have to start small. I've to be faithful in the little things, in my tithes and offerings. Faithful in being a good steward of my finances. Then God would be able to give me even more.

What do i want to do after the army? Definitely SOT first. If not, when?

What do i want to be in the future? I want to be a church staff, a zone supervisor, a pastoral staff. I feel that other than theses, I've no interests in the other jobs. I do not want to be some office guy, sitting in front of a computer, sending out emails trying to do my job.

I want a fulfilling life. I want to make a difference in the lives of the people around me. I want to help people realize their potential, i want go overseas for mission trips, to preach the gospel to the lost and see the sick being healed, lost being saved.

I know I'll be very happy doing all these things for the kingdom of God, because i believe that i was chosen. I may have done a lot of wrong things, but God's grace is still upon my life and I've seen so many wonderful things happening to me. God is so good and He still continues to bless in all areas of my life.

But right now, I'm struggling. I know i should take that step of faith and sign up for SOT. But I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid that I'm unable to get the finances required, afraid that at the end of SOT, I'll be penniless without anywhere to go.

Faith - Forsaking All I Trust Him.
Faith - Having the CONFIDENCE in His promises.
Faith - Believing that God will do the unbelievable.
Faith - Taking that first step, into the realm of the unknown.

Father! Help me step out of my comfort zone, into the realm of the unknown!!

Faith.

common subject, commonly taught. but uncommon experience felt today.

sermon was really another home run. Pastor Kong spoke about having faith, confidence in God, knowing who we are in Christ and also knowing that God's promise will not go away.

Having the confidence that when i lay hands on people, when i speak and when i pray, people will be touched by the power of God and the sick shall be healed, the needy needs shall be met and miracles will begin to happen.

confidence, not arrogance or self pride.

during ministry time, the presence of God was so tangible. i felt that the presence was full of His power and authority. every single word Pastor Kong spoke was like a prophesy. it has been a very long time since Pastor laid hands and i wasn't surprised that he called out the CGLs to the front so that he can lay hands and pray for them.

i felt faith rising up in my spirit. i felt as though anything can happen in that place. whatever pastor spoke just now, i'm very sure he has spoke it into existance. we'll see our church grow, 30,000 and it will keep on growing so much, so much that there'll be multiple services going on each week.

so much that everywhere we go, we see CHCsters. everywhere we go, we see CHCsters making a difference in the marketplace, yet still spiritually connected to God. the trendiest people you see on the streets will be CHCsters, yet still spiritual and holy.

people may say things about us, but we do not have to prove them that we're spiritual and holy. just as Jesus didn't have to prove that He's the Son of God, we should not fall into the trap of proving who we are in Christ. as long as we know who we are in Christ, we'll do great things for His glory.

who cares about what others think? i only care about what God thinks of me.

Forgiveness. Pastor Tan shared with us this week as Pastor Kong is away in Taiwan.

I think Pastor Tan scored a homerun, teaching us about forgiveness. Many people have a misconception about forgiveness and based on the five questions Pastor Tan asked us, i think majority of us got it wrong.

Personally, i was blessed by the message. As Pastor preached, i could identify myself in several of the situations Pastor narrated. examples like holding onto the past, bitterness and "trying" to forget the hurt.

Not that i've been thru tremendious tribulations in the year 2007, but several incidents happened and things started to change. Perhaps i built a wall, instead of a gate. i became so closed up that i was unwilling to let anyone come into my life.

Many people had come and tried to break down the wall, but i would manage to 'fend' them off by saying something else. Most of the time, assuring that things are okie and i'm fine. Thus giving people the impression that i'm really okie.

Well, sometimes i AM okie, but sometimes i'm not.

And its not that the issues are giving me a problem. Its probably because i've to make the decision to commit or not. Probably i'm still not ready/unwilling to commit into something that i'm not sure of. Thus the attitude towards certain issue.

I think i really can't blame anyone else, except myself. If i wasn't so wishy washy or if i didn't had closed up from the beginning, things wouldn't end up this way. Now things have gone so bad, and i really don't know what can i do now to restore things.

Anyway, for this year, i really want to keep my focus right and not get distracted by other things..

FOCUS!

first service of 2008 and pastor kong kicked off with a series. first lesson we learnt is about being focused!

whats focus?

a quick search in the internet shows several meanings of focus -

• Close or narrow attention; concentration:
• To direct toward a particular point or purpose
• To concentrate attention or energy

focus - to pay close attention, using all energy and effort, towards a particular purpose.

if you would want to be successful in the year 2008, you got to be focused! plan your goals and stay focused!

01/01/08!

new year! i'm so looking foward to great things in this coming year. why? i've no idea. but its just in me.

for the past year, loads of things had happened. good, bad and things that i've no idea about. but last year, God's grace was upon me big time.

in the area of my national service, i was commissioned on June 9 2007, got posted to a really good unit with a really good boss and really good commanders and troopers to take care of. compared to my friends at other places, i'm really extremely blessed to be there.

in the area of my minstry, i was starting to take up more responsibilities and i just got promoted to be a group IC in the elites team. there are definitely a lot more for me to learn, especially after serving on sunday, when ricky shared with me several stuffs.

i've already got some espects of my life that i gotta change. like what pastor tan said, lead the change!! i shall now start to change my attitudes, before it gets me into trouble.

i shall not take my friends for granted. i'll definitely try to keep in contact with as much friends as possible, and form meaningful friendships. i do not want to scratch the surface of friendship, but i want to go deep into the friendship.

i shall not have the 'hollier than thou' attitude. i shall remain humble and be teachable. if God uses a donkey to communicate His ways, He can use a new friend or a little boy to teach me something invaluable.

i shall not close up on my emotions. its definitely not healthy and it has caused me to feel faint several times last year. haha=X i'll definitely try to talk to people more and not hide my emotions. but that doesn't mean that i'll be so emotionally unstable that i'll switch emotions within seconds. probably its learning to control my emotions and learning to express them right.

and i believe there're a lot more things for me to change in the coming year!

-

i also wanna thank several people for their constant love and support, simply being there for me.

charmaine wan xuemin - she has been really challenging. her rough patches and relationships were a constant headache, but thank God cos she brokethru! kinda proud of her and she has also been really encouraging to me. always a SMS away and a street away, rides to church or having a meal together was never a problem.

sandy wong - heh. surprise candidate? her blurness is definitely amazing, but she really makes problems seem smaller, easier. always cheerful and no matter what happens, her positive attitude keeps her going.

keren hoi - ha! simply amazing friendship i've with keren. though we seldom talk, but its amazing how things work between the both of us. hopefully this anointing continues in the years to come!

allan phua - simply amazing scholar. not an army scholar, but a PSC scholar. super genius, but super humble. not a surprise when he was awarded the sword of honor for being the best cadet for our cadet course. always there for me whenever i was discouraged during the course. cheered and celebrated with me whenever i had victories. simply amazing moments.

andrew chong - alpha wingmate, most importantly, prayer mate! first 3 months in alpha wing was endurable because of him. he would gather most of the christians together and we'll pray for one another. he'll also share and edify us during the darkest moments of training.

michael ong - my leader in security ministry. amazing leader. very edifying, patient and caring. always see him smiling and cheerful. but when he plays soccer, he's ruthless! haha. without him, i wouldn't be where i am in the security ministry.

lixin - ahhhaz.. friends for how many years already? 4-5 years? since you were in secondary 3? had our fair share of problems and she's usually one the of first few people that i would think of to share my problems with. we gotta meet up soon!

natalie - buddy! haha.. gives the bestest advice, but it can get quite mean at times. haha. but natalie's really a great friend and i'll also go the extra mile for her.

wong zhiwei - this guy here has helped me so many times, i do not dare to call him for help again. all my last minute vehicle indentions were approved by him and without his help, i would've no vehicles to transport my people or equipments for training!

jodie - victim of char&sharon wan's match making agency. thanks for being so fun loving =)

my CG - little boys and girls that are finally growing up. these people are a joy to go out with, though they might get out of hand sometimes. but they're just so interesting people.

i think i'll eventually end up thanking every single person that i know cos everyone made a difference in my life!

happy birthday to me!

-

CHANGE! Pastor Tan shared about change and how we should embrace change. I'm watching Channel News Asia and some CEO of some mega company is saying that to way to success is to anticipate change, and change immediately when chances occur.

how should we embrace change then?

i guess its really being selfless. not thinking about yourself, thinking that its always someone's else fault or that somebody else should change. why not, you do the changing and maybe the world would be a better place?

and it increases your value too!

i was thinking of several points after service yesterday and decided to CHANGE on these points

• to control my emotions, not to be emotionally dead. (Pastor Yong actually asked me this question and told me not to be emotionally closed up. How did he know? i've no idea.)
• To be a good steward of God's money
• To stop procastinating and start going for my driver's licence
• To finish reading the bible!!!

change change change change change!

my progress with speaking proper english has been quite successful. though my smses are getting slightly longer than usual, or just extremely short, i'm glad that i'm not exactly speaking much singlish. thats a good change! ;)

SOT registration is open, but i've no idea if i'm able to enroll this year because my National Service ends only on May 5, and SOT starts on Apr. BUT, for the bulk of Apr, i'll be overseas, either Taiwan or Brunei for my training. so i've no idea if i'm still able to enroll as i'll miss one whole month of lessons.

somebody enlighten me!?

we had our company cohesion earlier today. we played this game similar to the amazing race, minus the road blocks and fast forwards.

basically, we're given 4 sheets of paper, different points on each set of paper and the difficulty of the questions are based on the points awarded. hints were given to us and we've to guess the location, take a picture of the location with all the team members in it.

found myself finding out more about singapore, its landmarks and history. i thought that it was really interesting and meaningful.

i've been trying to speak and reply my smses in proper english. trying to cut down on the singlish too. i think my standard of english has dropped, thus i shall now attempt to restore it. help me out! if you hear me speaking in singlish, or using broken english, correct me so that i can change and learn from it!

;)

God is so very good to me.

so many small little things that happened, but it made a huge difference in that moment.

i had a friend driving me to camp, and back home for 2 days (save transport fares)

i had a trooper driving me back to KHC because i had work to do (save transport fares)

i had free supper that cost 100+ total at geylang

i had a ride down to church, JW premises, on sunday morning by sharon wan

i had a ride to jurong point by kaikeong

i had my "boss" treating me a meal today

i had my hair cut and its good

and loads more. God is good eh? but of cos, i sowed before reaping all these blessings! if i can total up the blessings, it has already out weighed the amount i've sowed into the house of God.

indeed! when i build God's house, He'll build mine too!

all i want for christmas is...

1. iPod
2. Jacket (Polo)
3. Shoes (Leather and Casual)
4. PSP
5. More Shirts and Jeans

make my wishes come true!!

feel so caged up. like a bird thats stuck in a cage, thinking that its free, but in reality, its stuck in its cage.

need a breakthru in the spiritual realm. there's definitely more than what there is now. i'm very sure and i'm really yearning for a breakthrough.

not sure if these are the solutions to the breakthrough, but i'm sure that they'll definitely contribute to the breakthrough.

i must really learn to love people whole heartedly, especially lost souls. thats like the heartbeat of God and thats what Jesus did most of the time. loving people whole heartedly, getting to know them personally, then changing their lives completely.

i must also stop thinking of the great things. maybe i should just look at short term goals and work towards them first. no point planning for great and wonderful stuffs when i can't even plan for small and insignificant stuffs.

i must not adopt that i-know-it attitude. must be open and receive from others, even though they maybe younger than i am or inexperienced.

i must not be quick to judge/conclude.

i must not be like a christian that has been around for 10-20 years, but a christian that seems that everything is still new and fresh.

haiz.

i wanna be alone, by myself, and see the face of God.

something interesting happened just now.

i was at the bus stop waiting for my bus when it started raining cats and dogs. then 2 wild dogs ran to the bus stop to seek shelter. uber cute black dogs

then after a while, the dogs started barking like crazy. i turned around and saw a wild boar approaching the bus stop too. i thought the wild boar wanted to seek shelter in the bus stop too, but it turned out that the wild boar was targetting the dog's food! heh.

so the poor dogs were barking endlessly at the wild boar, but the boar simply ignored them, and continued eating their food.

i tried to scare the boar by stomping my feet, but it ignored me also. heh. maybe i should have thrown the abandoned umbrella at the boar.

but thats not the interesting part. the interesting part came when the boar finally finished the food. it started to trot away when 1 brave doggie decided to chase after it. it started running towards the boar, barking endlessly. but when the boar turned around and gave the doggie some attention, the doggie would turn around and run away from the boar.

so much for being so "garang".

even the aunties at the bus stop were laughing at the doggie that attempted to scare off the boar, saying that the boar's so huge, it can probably kill it if it wanted to.

but then, the doggies are so poor thing. cold and hungry, they still have to endure such abuse from the boar. sigh~

hope the doggies are doing fine and hope that they're not freezing now in the cold.

been quite sometime since i last blogged. not a lot of happenings, but loads of dramatic incidents.

shall not disclose the incidents as they're secret happenings.

-

weekend services with pastor phil! he painted the last supper, while preaching about the 12 disciples. i was really blessed by the "sermon"; if you count describing the 12 disciples a sermon. ;)

anyway, pastor phil shared about the 12 disciples, their characteristics and history. there were disciples that i never heard of and the bible didnt accounts for. they were normal people, but yet they were in close fellowship with God.

why?

because they had a heart after Christ. they all had different backgrounds, non of them were perfect disciples. each had their weaknesses, flaws and struggles. yet Christ accepted them and made them His disciples.

amazing eh?

of cos Christ didn't just stop there. He discipled them, taught them and most importantly enpowered them to do even greater things for the kingdom of God.

there's a disciple for everyone.

interesting day today~

served, as usual, and today was quite busy. first pastor yong came, before i left the room, pastor kong came. walked out to the carpark, then pastor tan came. after escorting him to the guest room, pastor derek came.

i think i walked up and down the way 3 times in a row. haha

but its really my honor to serve such great man of God and i really feel blessed. thank God for His grace upon my life.

before i was about to leave for cellgroup, bro kokyew and i had a chat. he's one of my favourite security leaders because he's super friendly and approachable. always armed with a smile in his face and always looking very fatherly.

he asked about my future plans and he started to ramble out some stuffs. to my surprise, it was exactly the plans that i had in mind. haha! SOT, CGL, ZS and eventually Pastoral.

then he said he just prophesied over my life and it was a confirmation of God's vision in my life. really felt extremely encouraged when he said that.

but of cos, things wont happen overnight.

cellgroup meeting was fantastic! presence of God just filled the entire place and everyone was weeping in His presence. Jason prayed for everyone and boy it was powerful.

on such occasions, you just want to keep worshipping Him, sing love songs to Him continually.

i think everyday, i've to remind myself of this - WWJD. What Would Jesus Do? in everday's situation and difficulties, what would Jesus do if He faces such challenges.

its impossible to overcome such problems and difficulties myself, but becomes easily when i rely on God. i learnt today during service that spiritual warfare is literaly war. i don't juz "recite" the promises of God to myself.

but i claim His promises and pray through it until victory. war also means aggresiveness, decisive decisions and swift actions.

got to make the right decisions in the shortest possible time and keep fighting until breakthrough comes!

Arise & Build!!

Pastor shared about having a vision and remembering it, not letting the terror of the night drain away my faith.

what really amazed me was that pastor mentioned that financial blessings are the easiest blessings to receive! simply because of the promise of reaping what we sowed.

think of it this way - every dollar is a seed. the moment you plant a seed, it grows. same goes to our finances! we sow our finances into the kingdom of God, expect it to multiply.

woah!!

another thing that pastor shared that blew away my mind.

our visions can be sidelined we lose sight of it. i've to continually remind myself of the vision God has placed in my heart and keep envisioning it happening; definitely work towards it also. if not, i'll get sidelined and miss out on the vision that God has placed in me! - this statement confirmed what i've been hearing from the Holy Spirit. that if i do not pick up my cross, the vision will go to someone else who's willing to carry the cross.

REMEMBER JOEL! PICK UP YOUR CROSS!!

most importantly, i learnt that in order to receive something, i've to give that thing that i need. eg: i need a healing, so i pray for people who are in need for healing.

another principal of sowing and reaping!

these are like, basics, which i know by knowledge. but after today's sermon, it became more of a revelation!

and because of this sowing and reaping principal, whatever that God did once, He can do it repeatingly!

so. who needs financial help? haha=X

wow.

what are the things you would spend your last few dollars on?

• $2 mixed flavors ice cream
• $0.50 Jack&Jill Spicy Potato Chips
• $0.60 The New Paper
• $1.20 M&M Minis
• $1.20 Hersheys Special Dark Chocolate
• $1.20 Milo Canned Drink
• $1.70 Iced Honey Dew Sago + Pearls

Cruxify my flesh!!!

near future seems bleak; not sure if i can pursue my desires of studying in SOT this year because i'll only ORD on May 5. SOT starts classes on April.

did consider the plan to take half day leave during the start of my course, but i found out that i'll be given only 7 days worth of leave. best of all, due to the block leave, my leave will be deducted. thus leaving probably less than 3 days?

struggles.

other concerns affecting my decision too. finances, how am i going to pay for the school fees? work, definitely have to work, but a job thats ultra flexible?

really want to enroll into SOT this year, but why does it seem like a dream so far away?

something in me feels fearful to lose out in the coming year's SOT. the coming year's SOT feels special; somehow, i feel like a part of the coming year's SOT intake.

Lord, grant me the desires of my heart.

recently a friend of mine shared about his plan for studies after the army. he extended his contract for about a year so that he's able to save money to study overseas.

tempations.

is it wise for me to extend till next 2009's april, so that i can save money for 2009's SOT?

thing about saving money is that i really have to be extremely disciplined.

headache.

Lord You called me, i'll take the step of faith, and walk on water.

only You know the desires of my heart.

randomness.

Do feel a little caged up at times. limitations, expections.

can't i just live life the way i want?

bah.

Recently completed a course in the army and was doing self reflection during my "survival" training.

Maybe i've protrayed myself as someone too soft and easily stepped over. I looked at my guys and watched how they talked and reacted towards me.

Seems that they were talking to their friend more than their commander.

Yes, i know that its important to build friendship and not draw the line between officers and specialists, but its also very important for them to respect the command given to me. So i can't have them walking up to me, trying to bend the rules here and there just to fit into their comfort zone.

I've got to be more strict with them, especially with my commanders. Army's not about staying in your comfort zone, but stretching your limits, learning more about yourself.

Maybe i should set higher standards and demand more from them, and learn not to be so easily taken in by others.

back home!

service was fantastic.

pastor kong's back and he shared about tithing. something very basic, but extremely important in our walk with God.

now i feel empowered, recharged. but not yet ready to take on the world. =X

down with a minor injury. in-grown toe nail.

seems minor, but it causes serious pain if not treated. i decided not to go ahead with the surgery in camp as it would result me to get out-of-course in my recce commander course. so i told the MO that i'll probably just grit through the pain and only after my course, i'll seek surgery.

after serving today in leather shoes, i removed my socks earlier and found half my toe covered in blood and pus. not mentioning the constant pain with every step that i took.

but i guess i just got to grit through the pain and pray that my toe recovers soon.

one more entry before i book-in into camp.

God is just so amazing. sometimes when you feel that you're left on the shelf, God surprises you with the things He has been doing all the time.

i've been quite blessed as my parents allow me to go church, despite different beliefs. though they dont really ask me what church or God is about, they have never questioned, challenged or gave me an extremely difficult time.

recently, certain issues happened at home and it caused my mom to open up more to Christ. though they were not very pleasant issues, i was glad that my mom was willing to listen to my advise and my sister.

sometimes when others are really weak or helpless, that is when you're able to demostrate the power of God.

but of cos there are incidents that i wished didnt happen at all. but what i'm glad is that my family members are protected.

knowing that God is such a wonderful God, it makes me even much more burdened. it makes me feel like going around, sharing the good news of God, so that they can experience the same kind of love that i experience.

sometimes i don't even know why i feel so disturbed. felt that i should do something, rather than wasting my life away. but i've also learnt that thats one of the many ways the Holy Spirit communicates to us. He attracts our attention to seek His face, to pray and to "find" out whats bothering me.

many times, i feel that i not worthy. things that i've done probably have not just disappointed God, but my loved ones. but time and time again, i find myself surrounded by His presence, His peace, when i pray.

problems became easier to solve, angry emotions begin to calm down and understanding creeps into my heart. feels terrible when you begin to understand what had just happened and you've caused another person to feel hurt.

maybe sometimes its about loving somebody regardless of self. loving someone not because of what i can receive, but because of what i can give.

if i can give God my precious time, He's able to give me more than just His presence, love and peace. if i've to make a decison between God and something that i really like, would a short term pleasure be more satisfying or something thats not seen in the realm of the spirit satisfy me even more?

making a difference in the lives of others is not something nobel. but it demands sacrifice, patience and love. its not just an one day affair or an one incident thing. its a daily renewing of commitment to help that person, to watch them grow stronger in Christ.

sometimes its not just about bringing people to church and hoping that pastor would preach a message that would touch their hearts. but its about winning their hearts over, before bringing them to church. to do that, you'll have to be there for that person since day one, no matter rain or shine.

then when the time is ripe, naturally the person would want to go church.

the gospel is never forced down someone's throat. its the word, or our attitudes, that causes harden hearts to be soften, then His love that fills the void in the heart.

now lets stop forcing the gospel down throats, but let the love of God flow through us and into the world that needs Him!

Last post - June 11 2006

Today - September 9 2007

I've been on null for more than a year! are there anymore readers? hahaz.

for the past year, nothing much has happened. got into the army, got best trainee in my platoon, got into OCS and commissioned on June 9 2007.

something to be very proud of and glad that i made it through.

now that i'm commissioned, many would think that its time for me to slack. well, its barely the beginning because i'm still on course for my vocation! i'm training to be a recce commander and i'm sure its going to be extremely exciting.

cannot go into the details, but watch and see! i'll infiltrate your fridge like never before!

so many happenings recently, so many to say. but so little time, or rather lazy my fingers and brains are. all i'm thinking of is the ice cream tub thats waiting for me in the freezer and a cup of iced milo.

maybe this is the start of a blogging lifestyle again, but definitely not everyday because i'm a stay in trainee. would only get to book out on fridays and if i get confined, sundays.

even officers get confined! boo!

what is an irritating person? is he someone that talks too much or tries too hard to be someone else?

personally, an irritating person is an insensitive person. he does things without much consideration, talks without thinking and is often oblivious to his surroundings.

sometimes you may think that you're not an irritating person, but to somebody else, your actions and speech makes them feel irritated. why? i don't know too! because in Deuteronomy 29:29, it says "The secret things belong to the Lord our God"

maybe when we go up to heaven one day, God would reveal to us the things that we never understood. perhaps we would then be really ashamed of ourselves because of the foolish things that we did.

sometimes God deals with you indirectly. He sends somebody into your life and treats you the way you treat other people.

you want to be loved? then love others first. always placing others before self, without a motive should always be the mentality of ours.

i may have the potential to be the Mr. Gentleman of the universe, but because of my selfish desires, i would be stripped off the title and it would be given to somebody else who's willing to rise up.

you may think, "aiyah.. i'm still young, still got many more years ahead of me" but what you would never know is that your foundation is already cracked the moment you make this statement. with that crack in your foundation, the devil can come in easily and cause you to go off course.

ok.. i'm out of point, anyway, this is quite an random post and i'm not directing at anyone=)

hmm.. why is blogger in chinese today? heh.. weird..

anyway, i've about 4 more weeks of "freedom" before i'm being transported to pulau tekong for 2 years of service to the nation.

as the saying goes, "its the place where boys turn into man."

i've heard many friends share their experience, and some older generations sharing with me their "sob" story because they had lesser pay, tougher trainings and lack of welfare. but many shared with me of what to expect inside because the people i'll meet inside may be far from what i can imagine.

basically, national service is like going for weekly camps at a far away place, being seperated from everyone else and the occational confinments, field camps and overseas training.

it wouldn't be bad for those singletons because they do not have much "responsibilities". but those lovely dudly BFs would probably suffer abit more because of the seperation. some people would even "encourage" you by saying that your GF is probably flirting with some other guys.

heh. not only that, pampered children would definitely not get used to camp food for the first few days. thank God i'm not a picky eater (sometimes). so i'll just gobble down whatever food thats given to me, if it tastes ok, and not make a big fuss about wanting mcdonalds =P

but i guess its gonna be really fun. imagine getting a really great buddy in the army, one thats great to work with, willing to work and serve hard, encourages and edifies, my army experience would definitely be a great one!

going through thick and thin together, helping one another cover our backs, slack during guard duties and stuffs like that would be so enjoyable because of a wonderful buddy=)

i think its really time for me to mature in my thinking. got to have the wisdom of God in every espect of my life. no longer thinking just for my selfish desires and needs, but about meeting other people needs.

about enlarging my capacity, stretching my limits to reach the next level. i know its never gonna be easy because its always easier to flow a fuse than to control the voltage. but once the damage is done, it is forever there.

i think i've done enough damage and in my last 4 weeks, i do not want to induce further damage. i just want to enter national service knowing that everything is ok, under control and smooth flowing.

saying is always easier, but when the situation comes, the action seems hard to perform. every part of our brain would scream out in harmony, inflicting anger cells and boiling blood. before we know it, another scar is formed, damage done.

then when you calm down and realized how foolish you were, you spend another 30 minutes trying to pacify the other party, explaining your actions and asking for forgiveness.

all these trouble can be saved if only we control our emotions and think about the words that are proceeding out of our tongue. watching our body language is also very important because communication is about body language too.

standing too close to someone or simply having a irritated look can turn someone off and spoil the day. so observe not just our tongue, but our body language too!!

gosh. how did this entry turn out to be a communication lesson? heh.. anyway, its late.

snooze time!

ooh. just came back from a soccer game with the security guys at ngee ann poly. talk about convinence manz! they should have all their games at NP! =D

it was quite a nice match.

surprisingly i played from the beginning. was thinking that i would be "relegated" to the bench because of my poor attendance and lack of equipment. i had to wear bro mike's track shoes to play=P

anyway, its been a million years since i last played soccer and it was quite fun running about, chasing after a ball, with formation definitely!

i guess all the Football Manager gaming experience saved me. i played at midfield right and for the first half, i had quite a lot of action on my side.

just before the half time, i started to see white and i got replaced. i almost whited out on the field! thank God i had just enough time and strength to walk to the side, almost blind, and ask for a drink to refill myself.

i went back to the pitch for the second half! couldn't stand sitting at the bench watching others play! hahaa=P

this time, i wore daniel's boots and it was soooo much better! i finally had grip on the muddy pitch and i was able to run with control.

i think the match ended 5-3 to security! hahaa=P not sure if i contributed to the first goal because i took a shot, but it got deflected and someone headed the ball in instead. lol=P anyway, we won! doesn't matter if i scored or not=P

on a personal evalution of myself, i thought i played quite poorly. couldn't trap the ball in the air and had several bad passes, miskicks and moments of blurness on the field. heh=P ricky was like roy keane, shouting and motivating us to play harder~ even told me off, to wake up my idea. haha=P

currently i'm considering getting boots for myself so that i can join them everyweek for a game of soccer. gotta exercise before i enter national service!

2.30pm! i'm gonna be really late! gotta cut my hair, meet steven then travel to changi airport!

BYE!

http://joel.youaremighty.com/

=)

>.<

ashley's at phillippines right now!! -cries- which means i've no one protecting me in the company, getting me out of trouble and helping me when i need help!

oh well. anyway, had a great time with taifong today. we walked stores together and i saved a lot of money on transport because he drove me around the various locations we visited! hahaz! learnt several stuffs about driving and it has indeed stirred up my spirits to learn driving asap!

the shock of getting into army on 6 july 2006 is still trying to settle in. i still can't believe that i'm entering NS sooner then most of my friends! to think that i passed NAPFA! i thought i'll get like 2 months off or something?

or maybe its like that - 6 july 2006 - 2 mths = 6 may 2008 i'll ORD! which sounds REALLY soon. AND remembering that i can clear leave, i'll probably unofficially ORD by April! Praise God!!

i'm gonna do a countdown to ORD and bring it along when i enlist on 6 july. =D i'll probably be labeled as crazy

i've got so many things i want to do!! before my NS!!

i want to travel overseas, by air, land and sea!!

air - take an aeroplane to some country to play
land - drive/get driven to neighbouring country to play
sea - take a cruise to play!

generally, i want to play before entering NS!! i want to see more of the world before i'm confined in little tekong!

7 more weeks to national service.... >.<

its official.

i'm enlisting on 6 July 2006.

heh. Loads of things i wanna blog about, but i'm quite lazy to type them all out here.

Anyway, quick update!! i'm currently very obsessed this song i heard recently at a KTV session with the gang.

it's called - Superwomen. (I bet everyone's going.. cheyyYyy..)

it's such a sweet song!! feels so honest and it's the type of song that comes best when you're discouraged by a setback.

Well. technically speaking, my contract at Reborne is expired. but i'm still returning to the company to help out at certain areas. i've been offered a two weeks extension because one of the sales executive is going on exams break and i'll be taking over her position for the time being.

i don't know if its a blessing in disguise because there's loads of conflicts going on, regarding if i've been doing my job or i'm just a waste of the company's finance.

seriously speaking, i do not care what they're talking behind my back. as far as i'm concerned, as long as i'm doing my job, i'm secure.

but what annoys me is that my effort is not appreciated in the company, and worst of all, its being doubted. only once i received open praise from Lars, the bigboss of the company, because i called up the audience from the Nanz Chong talk show held recently and managed to get sales for our new product.

Lars praised the effort i placed in speaking to the audience, gathering feedback and promoting sales to them.

i also learnt something valuable this week. there's a famous quote that goes, "no point crying over spilt milk" i simply thought it simply means whats done cannot be undone. but i had the honor of experiencing it first hand.

sometimes we do things out of anger and if we're unable to control our tongue, all hell breaks loose. thats why the bible says that the wise controls their tongue and the bible also mentions that the more we speak, the more we're prone to sin.

we can only regret after doing such things, but there's nothing we can do to undo the event. its not like Microsoft Words, when you can click on the undo icon and all the mistakes are erased.

scars are permanent. no use rubbing against it, hoping that it would go off one day.

anyway, i could have used my brains before using my emotions.. but, no point crying over spilt milk. i've to stand up once again, dust off the dust and move on with life. i cannot afford to stay at the same place and hope for a miracle to change the event that happened.

alrites! it's time to revive this blog of mine!!

to all my faithful readers out there, congratez!! You'll be reading fresh, new posts from me once again!! heh=P

as you noticed, a new skin is being used already~ not bad for a start right?

I've no idea what to write today, but i just feel like blogging all over again. I wonder why too.

Not much happenings recently, except that i'm given a 2 weeks extension for my current job. I don't know if its a blessing in disguise, but it can be quite stressful working there. Just look at Ashley and everyone would understand. She seems to be on the tenderhooks everyday and she explodes everynow and then. Heh.

Maybe I should just blog about this.

Working at reBorne has certainly opened up my eyes. You see the nice guys and the bad guys in the same place. Sometimes you look behind your back and you find a knife being stabbed into your back.

There are also nice people that fight the battle for me, thanks Ashley! When things goes wrong, they are always the ones that I look for.

But my work there is quite boring. I just goto stores to check stock and order stock. Not much responsibilty, not even exciting after 2 weeks. It takes much discipline to work everyday and there are days when i just slack at home=P

On Wednesday, we would have bible studies with Lars, the boss who wears Boss polo tees, or sometimes guest pastors/speakers to teach us the word of God. Recently it has been Aileen giving us bible studies, reading passages from the bible and sharing revelations with each other.

Quite interesting company eh?

FUTURECAST

Quote - "The best way to predict the future is to invent it." - Alan Kay

Hi, I'm Phil Pringle
You're going to love this;

Forecasting is based on a predictable future. That animal is extinct.

Forecasting says 'This is what we believe is going to happen.'

Futurecasting says 'This is what we are going to make happen.'

Futurecasting easily predicts the future because those who futurecast are going to make that particular future happen.

So, what are you going to make happen?